The XX Factor: Slate women blog about politics, etc...

Hillary's Biggest Challenge Has Zero to Do with Her XX Factor

  Previously, on XX Factor... Hillary Can't Win? I know you mean as in can't catch a break, Dahlia. But until last week, you'd swear from reading the coverage that she'd already been elected. Whenever I mention her high, deep and not-going-anywhere negatives, the unanimous response is, "Hey, but look at the polls; it's a done deal.' So OK, if polls are all, what about this one, a California survey that shows a third of voters there have already decided against her? Gender has zero to do with her biggest weakness, which is the perception that she's a phony - even though women candidates typically enjoy an edge in the "authenticity'' department.   

  I also wanted to circle back to earlier posts from June and Rachael: See, get a few women who might not be in perfect political sync in a room, even virtually, and before you've collected the coats and the drink orders, they're looking for common ground. Gender stereotype, yes -- but I saw it in action all the time on my book journey in 20 states, and Lord, what a welcome sight.

  In Washington, we never stop talking about politics, to the point that if you've run into someone at the dry cleaner's twice, you probably know which way they lean. (And if they don't telegraph it, their poor campaign junkie kids will; last year just before the midterms, my then 10-year-old son answered the phone at dinnertime one night, and called, "Mom, it's another push poll; can I take this one?'') But in a lot of the country, politics is the new sex; nobody says a thing. Mostly because, as June suggests, we'd rather not get into it with people we care about.

All that politeness is hurting our democracy, though, because if those who aren't screaming are silent, there is no national conversation. Because we have no practice, we don't even know how to hash through important issues respectfully, which is to say productively. And if we only speak to people with whom we agree, and give us no pushback, how do we know what we really want from our government? Are we so sure we have nothing to learn, ever, from those with opposing viewpoints?

What I did for the book was get groups of women who were friends but had never talked about politics before together for their maiden voyage, and the result was just the opposite of a shout fest. There were lively disagreements, just as you'd hope, but when people felt heard, even by each other, they put their shoulders down and got serious. Some of the groups are still meeting. And whether Hillary becomes our first woman president or not, that's one way I'd love to see more women leading the way politically -- in their own living rooms.