The XX Factor: Slate women blog about politics, etc...

Don't call the cops, but do call the parents...

Torie, I agree that there’s no need to call the D.A.’s office on teenagers messing around, but I do think the parents of middle schoolers have a right to know the score, so to speak. I don’t what’s up in Portland, Maine, but they seem to be having trouble locating the vast expanse of middle ground between initially refusing to let the parents of 11-year-olds know they were handing them birth control – and now promising that they will report every sexually active kid to the cops.

Has anybody else seen that Disney movie where Goofy follows his son off to college because he misses him so much?  That is going to be me in a few years, moving in across the street from West Point, just like Douglas MacArthur’s mommy. As a warm-up, a couple of summers ago, I had the bright idea that I would accompany my children to a camp for 9- to 18-year-olds, where I would teach a little writing class and get loads of work done.

One of the reasons that loads of work thing didn’t happen is that I had other duties at this camp, too – patrolling the rec center to bust up late-night make-out sessions, for instance. Some of the other teachers were assigned an even more onerous job, on a detail known as the Bush Patrol. (My then-9-year-old son was happy to hear that the staff was on the lookout, making sure the president was nowhere in evidence.) But no, what this assignment really involved was whizzing around the far reaches of the campus in a golf cart, armed with a whistle and flashlight, interrupting couples at play in the bushes. If you broke up anything serious, you were supposed to call the parents and report exactly what you had seen.

I swore I would never do anything of the sort, but some of my friends felt otherwise, and one said she already had made such a call -- and had even provided details when the dad on the other end of the line refused to believe her: “Sorry, sir, but your daughter’s head was moving up and down.’’

Bad as it was for this friend who had to make that call, getting it must have been many times worse. Yet still not as bad as not getting it might have been, you know? There is just too much at stake to keep parents of the loop.