The XX Factor: What women really think.



  • Joyce Maynard. Two New Babies at 56.


    So mom, we have a daughter who writes a revenge piece, a son who unfriends you, and what do you do? Well, of course, at 56, you adopt two Ethiopian girls!

    Now I understand that adoption and fostering are unequivocally God’s work. And in all such acts of charity there is a balance between glory to others and glory to self, a subject much studied by places like the Templeton Foundation. That said, when a particular good work becomes trendy—Save Mumia, Feed the World, or, lately, Adopt a Child from an Exotic Country—that balance is likely to be off ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • This is Over, Sarah Palin.


    Dear Sarah,

    I’ve written about my mixed feelings for you since you joined the McCain ticket. I’ve always liked your energy and your toughness. I liked that you rose from small-town mayor to the national stage. The Katie Couric interview? That bizarre whirlwind tour-slash-photo op where you met all the foreign leaders? Not so much. I won’t go through the laundry list of my ups and downs here. Not enough time ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • James Franco Says His Stint on General Hospital is Performance Art. He is Wrong.


    In an op-ed in today’s Wall Street Journal, James Franco ‘breaks his silence" about what on earth he’s been doing on General Hospital for the past few weeks. He confirms that his appearance on the soap is, as was predicted, performance art—or, at least, it was intended to be ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Does Single-Sex Make the Grade?


    A post from DoubleX and Washington Post Magazine contributors:

    For me, women's colleges are something I associate with feminism past—grandma's nostalgic recollections, Mary McCarthy's scorn. I know they are supposed to be provide a safe haven for women, free of flirting, free of social pressure, free of the need to primp and preen. And I'm sure that's true for many women. But my only personal experience of the all-women's institution are Condé Nast-style women's magazine offices, and they are the least relaxing, most competitive places I've ever spent time in ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Some Counsel From One Woman to Another (Who Both Just Happen To Be Moms)


    A post from DoubleX writer KJ Dell'Antonia:

    I wrote this delicate and thoughtful response to Amy, much of which is below. But I really wanted to let go of the politically correct dance I was doing and shout, along with commenter Jewellya: Maybe it's time to change course. If you're a college-educated, driven woman who puts a lot of pressure on herself and you're putting all your energy into being a self-described stay-at-home-mom—AND you're unhappy, maybe the problem isn't your marriage or your city. Maybe you're just freakin' bored, and freaking out ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Abortion is Abortion and Contraception is Abortion Lite


    A post from DoubleX writer Amanda Marcotte:

    I can't tell if the Mikulski amendment covers contraception from the first news reports, but it's clear to me that the anti-choice lobby fears that it does. Of course, you have to speak right-wing-nut-ese to see this. The LifeNews article simply expresses concern that the bill will mandate abortion coverage, which is a ridiculous fear on its face. Ridiculous if you assume that by "abortion," LifeNews means abortion—ending a pregnancy through drugs or surgery. But often in anti-choice literature, "abortion" is treated as a catch-all phrase that means both abortion and hormonal contraception, and nonhormonal contraception is considered a form of Abortion Lite, because any kind of fertility control encourages the "abortion/contraception mentality" ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Why Aren't the Bullies the Ones Punished in Sexting Incidents?


    Sexting paranoia has bubbled up again, with news of 13-year-old Hope Witsell, who hanged herself after she was tortured by her peers for sending a nude photo to a boy she liked. Certainly, this is a cautionary tale for teen girls looking to woo lunkheaded boys. But I still don't understand how it's different from old-fashioned bullying. It's the same awful teen behavior, just in a different medium. I could not find statistics that said that teen suicide has markedly increased since cell phones came into wide use among the under-18 set, nor could I find evidence that bullying was on the rise overall ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Definitely a Keeper


    A post from DoubleX writer Veronica Belmont:

    The holidays have leapt upon us once again, and that means your digital camera is going to get a workout. It doesn’t matter if you’re a casual photographer with a small point-and-shoot or a major shutterbug with the latest dSLR: You need a good way to store and back up your images for safekeeping. Plus, since HD pocket camcorders like the Flip Mino HD are topping many wish lists this year, you also need to consider where you’re going to put all that video content after you upload the good bits to YouTube. What’s the point of taking pictures and movies if in 10 years you can’t look back at Aunt Gretchen’s eggnog-buzz-induced dance moves or the kids’ sugar-buzz-induced unwrapping frenzy? ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Can One Make a Good Marriage Better?


    After our debate on this site about Sandra Tsing Loh's Atlantic piece about her liberating divorce and Christina Nehring's book about the death of passion in the modern marriage, I kept waiting for someone to write about the other side. Now Elizabeth Weil has finally done it in her upcoming New York Times Magazine story, taking us deep inside her relatively happy, companionate union. This is a truly fascinating piece about what you discover when you put a perfectly good thing through the test ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).
  • Tiger Woods is Good at Golf, Not Keeping His Serial Cheating Quiet


    Hanna, given that he’s one of the most famous people in the world, Tiger really has guarded his privacy better than most public figures, so he actually does have some standing to invoke that privacy now that it’s come out he had a mistress, two mistresses, three mistresses—all of whom work in the nightclub industry and all of whom apparently took a photograph of Angelina Jolie to their plastic surgeons and said, “That nose, those lips, and also throw in a set of DD breast implants.” However, since the girlfriend revelations of once-squeaky-clean Tiger have now reached critical mass and he is having thermonuclear bimbo eruptions, whether he wants or deserves privacy, he has to face that it’s gone ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).
  • The Cheetah: A New Kind of Sexist Label For Women


    A post from DoubleX writer Lauren Bans:

    Oh, hey! Great news! There’s a new predator-type female in town, this one created by Spencer Morgan of the New York Observer. Welcome the cheetah: a young woman, fresh out of a relationship, on the prowl to take advantage of helpless, drunk, out-of-her-league men. She's the girl who stays for two games at the sports bar, not to watch football, natch, but to feast on juicy man tidbits. The cheetah is described nonsensically in the title as the “cougar’s younger cousin,” though later in the piece Morgan disowns the comparison, writing that the cheetah’s “hunting methods and psychology bear no resemblance to the cougar.” And that’s just the beginning—the article is full of comparisons and leaps that don’t make any sense. Welcome to the world of bogus trend pieces! Hop aboard! Let’s take a ride through this murky tale ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).

  • Teens Say They Won't Have Premarital Sex. Is this a Good Thing?


    The Girl Scout Research Institute has a new report out on the beliefs of school-age children and teenagers, and according to the press release, they've found that, "American teenagers are apt to make sound ethical and responsible decisions on a range of issues from smoking and drinking to premarital sex than they were just a generation ago." Certainly it is good that 62 percent of youths surveyed said they would not cheat on a test, compared with 48 percent from the 1989 survey. But I found the results of the premarital-sex question troubling. 33 percent of seventh to 12th graders said they would wait until marriage to have sex, up from 24 percent in 1989.

    It's troubling news because the teens who say they will wait until marriage will beat themselves up when they inevitably fall short of that goal ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).
  • Campus Sexual Assault Is Still a Problem


    As Ann points out on Feministing, it's dispiriting to read this new investigation of campus sexual assult by Kristen Lombardi for the Center for Public Integrity. We're supposed to be past the time when universities are indifferent to women's reports of assault, or actively discourage them from going to the police or bringing disciplinary charges, or force them to keep the proceedings secret if they do. And yet clearly we're not. This gibes with my own reporting for a story for the Yale Alumni Magazine several years ago (which I can't link to because it's not online). The question of what's rape or gray rape or date rape remains a confusing one for the women who experience these things and all the variations on them. But women who come forward should not find themselves blocked by their schools, and that is what is still happening, far more often than we'd like to think, Lombardi's reporting shows ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).
  • Fluid Female Sexuality and 'Late-in-Life' Lesbians


    I was watching the Today Show (again!) this morning, and Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira were teasing a segment with Meredith Baxter Birney, the former matriarch of Family Ties. "Meredith Baxter Birney has a SECRET," they kept saying ominously, and I thought she either had a previously undisclosed meth addiction or was dying of some rare disease. What a relief it was that she just turned out to be a (her words) "late-in-life" lesbian. This expression is already a meme of sorts, and ABC News wrote an article about it earlier this year: women in their late middle age leaving their husbands for other women.

    But naming them "late-in-life lesbians" seems awfully reductive, especially when you recall the epic New York Times Magazine article about female desire that DoubleX contributor Daniel Bergner wrote back in January ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX).
  • Minimal Fine and a New Boozy Mistress Appears


    So Tiger's car crash will cost him $164, plus whatever millions he has had to pay for such fine lawyering. The state troopers say they will stop going after his medical records, and that "no one involved has made any claims of domestic violence." Of course, in Florida no one has to make any claims of domestic violence for domestic violence to be charged, as I wrote in my story yesterday. The state police just have to have "probable cause" of domestic violence. Which takes us back to those medical records.

    If those records show wounds consistent with a bash on the head with a golf club, we have probable cause of domestic violence. Without them, we have only Tiger's word that his wife was a rescue angel at the scene of the crash. In the meantime, a new mistress, aptly named "Grubbs," aptly a cocktail waitress, and aptly in possession of some racy texts, has surfaced. Which makes option one—the bash in the head by the jealous wife story—the more likely one, no?

  • Is Huckabee to Blame for Releasing Maurice Clemmons?


    While I was covering Mike Huckabee for a profile in 2008, people kept insisting that he wasn’t your “typical politician.” This was true in some ways. He was terrible at raising money. As governor he took positions with no conceivable political payoff; he supported the funding of college aid for the children of undocumented immigrants, for example, a position not terribly popular among mainstream Republicans in the recent past. He spoke against a "revenge-based corrections system.” He commuted prison sentences and weathered the ensuing scandal. Little of this idiosyncrasy survived when Huckabee began to aim for the White House, but it had been there when the stakes were lower ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Company Creates Perfume From Michael Jackson's DNA


    A post from DoubleX writer Lauren Bans:

    For the MJ lover in your family—My DNA Fragrance, a Los Angeles company that seems to exists mainly to translate the DNA of the rich and famous and deceased into scents for the rest of us mortals to wear, has derived a perfume based on Michael Jackson’s DNA. Using a follicle of his hair.

    Creepy? Absolutely! But kind of fascinating at the same time? I think so! The perfume, dubbed M, is available to order now. For a hefty $60, one gets 3 ounces of the absolutely “unique” Jackson juice packaged in a bottle resembling the late singer’s torso ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Dept. of Feminist Outrage: Pregnant Celebrity (Gasp!) Gains Weight!


    Last year my former Jezebel colleague Moe Tkacik picked up on a new and horrifying development in the way that tabloids discuss women's bodies: Somewhere along the line," pregnant" turned into merely "fat." In an insane-o hybrid of baby and skinny fetishization, famous women are encouraged to gestate, but God forbid they stop working out. I was reminded of Moe's savvy observation when I saw this headline on People's Web site about Padma Lakshmi: "Padma Lakshmi Doesn't Mind Baring the Baby Weight." And what's inside gets worse. "One of the reasons I think I've gained weight pretty quickly during my pregnancy is that I'm not exercising as much as I do normally ... I can't. I'm feeling tired, and I have this business to run," Padma explains ... as if anyone needs to give an explanation for putting on weight while pregnant ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Generation Y Over-Cautiousness Might Explain Abortion Attitudes


    A post from DoubleX writer Amanda Marcotte:

    Jess, if Gen Y is indeed less pro-choice than prior generations, it shows that there's a dark underbelly to the generation that's been applauded as more tolerant and diversity-oriented than any other. They're also rumored to be the generation of bicycle helmets and overscheduling—kids who grew up in an environment that implied that one could wipe out all risk—and that kind of attitude explains why they would have developed contempt for anyone who does draw the short stick. What older generations might see as a reasonable amount of risk, Gen Y might see as nothing but carelessness ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

  • Complexity Hurts the Pro-Choice Side


    Jess, there's another dismaying element of the hand-wringing in the pro-choice movement over Stupak and declining suport among twentysomethings and the greying of the menopausal militia. It's that acknowledging the complicated emotions that some women have about their own abortions may be hurting the pro-choice side. I hate to make this point, because I've helped make the case for a while now that feminists need to own the regret and confusion that some (not all) women feel after the procedure. But Jennifer Senior does a great job talking to abortion counselors who are very much aware of all the emotional wrinkles. Then she poses "a very real and terrible dilemma for those of us who are pro-choice: Engage these questions and you play into the hands of the pro-life movement; refuse to engage in them and you risk living in a political vaccuum." Exactly ... (Read the rest of this article in DoubleX.)

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