The Happiness Project: How To Be Happier

Me on CBS News Talking About Happiness Boosts

I can never bear to see myself on video, so I haven't watched this myself, but I had a lot of fun talking about "tried and tested ways to find happiness" on the CBS News show Up to the Minute. I talk about the simple, everyday kinds of things that can boost happiness.

Sheesh.

* In case watching the interview makes you think, "Holy cow, I better make sure I order Gretchen's book right this minute," here's the pre-order link.

How "Having a Mission" Can Make You Happier

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too. Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in—no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

Writer Jean Stafford scoffed, “Happy people don’t need to have fun,” but studies show that the absence of feeling bad isn’t enough to make you feel good; you must strive to find sources of feeling good. Research shows that regularly having fun is a key factor in having a happy life; people who have fun are 20 times more likely to feel happy.

Recently, I noticed a pattern among activities that people find fun: Have a mission. There’s something about having a playful purpose, of trying to achieve something, that makes an activity more fun.

For example, a friend told that she loved visiting flea markets and antique stores to look for old globes—not fancy ones, but cheap ones. She has a rule that she’ll never pay more than $20. She’s the kind of person who loves poking around in those kinds of shops in any case, but having a mission makes it more fun, less aimless.

For that matter, having a collection of any sort is a very popular way to have a mission. You get the little zap of satisfaction whenever you find another piece of blue sea glass on the beach or another out-of-print book by Charlotte Yonge. Or you collect experiences, like attending a game in every Major League Baseball stadium or running in as many marathons as possible.

Taking photos is a common way to incorporate a mission into traveling. Not only does this help keep memories vivid, it also makes you more attuned to your environment while traveling. (Although for some people, taking photos can become a barrier to experience; they get so focused on getting the photos that they don’t enjoy the reality.) For example, during my most recent visit to New Haven, I had a lot more fun wandering around once I set myself the mission of taking tourist photos of my own romance.

Some people have a mission to take photos during everyday life: taking a photo of people’s bare feet whenever they get the chance, taking a photo of every red barn they see. Artist Nicholas Nixon did a series called "The Brown Sisters," a series of black-and-white photos of his wife and her three sisters taken every year from 1975-2006. It’s absolutely riveting.

Why is this true? The First Splendid Truth holds that to be happier, you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.

The more I’ve thought about happiness, the more surprised I’ve been at the importance of the “atmosphere of growth.” I think this is a huge engine of happiness, and when you have a mission, you create an atmosphere of growth whenever you pursue that mission.

Have you found a way to have a mission? What is it—and does it boost your happiness?

* On Gimundo, I read about a very reassuring study that concludes that workers who are permitted to spend time each day (less than 20 percent of total time) puttering around the Internet are actually more productive than those who aren't allowed to do so. Phew.

* Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just e-mail me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Sandra Day O'Connor's Secret to Happiness

Years ago, when I was a lawyer, I clerked for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor—which was one of those rare, amazing, once-in-a-lifetime work experiences. There are many reasons that I don’t regret law school and my years as a lawyer before becoming a writer, and the chance to work for Justice O’Connor is one of them.

The other day, I was on the phone with O'Connor. We were talking about her terrific new site, Our Courts, which teaches children about civics, and she’d also visited my Web site.

“I can tell you what I believe is the secret to a happy life,” she said.

“What’s that, Justice?” I asked. (Side note: When you speak directly to a Justice, you address him or her as “Justice”—e.g., “Justice, the cert petitions are here.” This, I always thought, must act as a frequent reminder to them about the value they are supposed to embody!) “What’s your secret?”

“Work worth doing,” she answered firmly.

“What about relationships?” I asked. From what I can tell, looking at modern science and ancient philosophy, if you had to pick a single factor as the one most likely to lead to a happy life, having strong relationships would be a strong candidate. Of course, most people form a lot of strong relationships at work.

“No,” she said in her brisk way. “Work worth doing—that’s all you really need.”

“Can I quote you?” I asked.

“Yes, yes,” she said.

Work worth doing. What do you think? Is that the one thing you need for a happy life?

* Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just e-mail me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.