The Happiness Project: How To Be Happier



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    You Use the BCC in E-Mails? What Does That Say About You?

    Scales of Justice.Yesterday, as I was reading Bob Sutton’s work manifesto, I was struck by his no. 9: “The best test of a person's character is how he or she treats those with less power.” I love this way of thinking about character, and that statement got me thinking: What else is a test of a person’s true nature? Well, what a person finds funny is a good test. I asked a bunch of friends for their ideas.

    - “How a person treats a waiter.”
    - “Whether a person plays by the rules when no one is watching.”
    - “How people behave when they’re pulled over while driving.”
    - “How a person treats his or her own parents. And in-laws.”
    - “My father told me never to trust a man who doesn’t drink—though he did say there are a few medical exceptions.” (Maybe I'm off the hook here as a woman, but I basically had to give up drinking, so I'd fail this test.)
    - “How often they use the bcc function in work emails. I don’t think you should ever use the bcc.”
    - “Whether a person eats a piece of chocolate cake at a birthday party.” (As an unconventional eater myself, I'd fail this test; I wouldn’t eat that birthday cake.)
    - “How he or she handles good fortune.”
    - “How he or she behaves during a long, arduous trip.”
    - “It is almost a definition of a gentleman to say that he is one who never inflicts pain.”—John Henry Newman.

    I get a tremendous kick out of collecting these kinds of observations. If you have one to add, please post it.

    * Journalist Carlin Flora at Psychology Today wrote a big piece on happiness, Happiness Makeovers, and she was kind enough to include a profile of me.

    * Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

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