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Mommy, Santa's scaring me! Just in time for Halloween, Bob Dylan's Christmas album is here, its arrival harkened by the 68-year-old legend's fearsome wheeze—a sound more Beelzebub than Jolly Old Elf. Christmas in the Heart is being called a goof, the latest of Dylan's many efforts to épater la bourgeoisie, confound his worshipful fans and exegetes, and generally mess with people's heads. There's something to the theory. The trickster behind "Talkin' Hava Negeilah Blues" surely relishes taking his place in a lineage of Jewish yuletide music that stretches from Irving Berlin to Barbra Streisand.
But to dismiss Christmas in the Heart as mere mischief is to misunderstand Dylan—and Christmas songs. In recent years, Dylan has been less folk singer than folklorist. On albums like Love and Theft (2001), Modern Times (2006), and Together Through Life (2009)—and on his fabulous satellite radio show—Dylan has been dipping further into America's musical back pages with an expansive vision of roots music that takes in not just blues and gospel and country but 19th-century parlor songs, vaudeville ragtime tunes, Tin Pan Alley's Hawaiian ballads, and other products of the ye olde pop industrial complex. Dylan's love for crooners like Bing Crosby is evident in Modern Times' "Beyond the Horizon," a note-for-note homage to the 1930s hit "Red Sails in the Sunset."
For decades, of course, Bing was "Santa Cros," Hollywood's Father Christmas, and his blithe spirit hangs over the new record. Dylan's croak is miles from Crosby's honeyed drawl, but he has a Bingian gift for sly phrasing and subtle swing. The arrangements, meanwhile, pay tribute to mid-century Christmas pop, right down to the backup vocalists who chirp in close harmony through numbers like "Winter Wonderland." Those flourishes, like the Currier and Ives-inspired CD cover art, have struck many as another high-concept Dylan jape. "Dylan plays things beyond straight, adhering to the syrupy, schlocky pop sounds of the pre-rock era," writes the reliably dense Chicago Sun-Times critic Jim DeRogatis, who awards the album zero stars out of a possible five.
Dylan, though, knows that holiday schlock is a profound tradition in its own right. Most yuletide standards are of relatively recent provenance, cooked up by pop tune-smiths during and just after World War II. But it was the special genius of those (mostly Jewish) composers to create songs that feel as if they have always existed, that can sit comfortably beside the ancient "O Come All Ye Faithful (Adeste Fideles)" and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" as icons of that bizarre civic-religious rite, the American Christmas—the one time each year when the country's consumerist and spiritual excesses merge in a mass celebration of the enchanted and uncanny. Even the silliest Christmas tunes are surreal—cheerily, unblinkingly narrating tales of flying reindeer and talking snowmen. Then there are songs like Berlin's titanic "White Christmas," which fuses Stephen Foster's antebellum nostalgia, Jewish schmaltz, and Broadway melodicism into a secular hymn that is as dark and blue as it is "merry and bright."
Dylan gets this, and that's why Christmas in the Heart is less a joke or a provocation than a polemic. He's harnessing his unrivaled cred to remind us that Christmas ditties are as deeply American—and often, as just plain deep—as anything Alan Lomax ever recorded in an Appalachian holler. Singing (or rasping) "Silver Bells" and "Do You Hear What I Hear?" and "Here Comes Santa Claus," Dylan is the haggard, haunting voice of the musical collective unconscious—our Ghost of Christmas Past.
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For the Bruce Springsteen fan who has everything: The Long Branch, N.J., home where the Boss wrote "Born to Run" is for sale. (You can read about the birth of that seminal record here.) It's small (828 square feet) and rather run-down looking, but the asking price is a cool $299,000, about $50,000 more than comparable houses in the neighborhood. That means the famous musician's mere presence nearly 35 years ago adds about 20 percent to its value.
This isn't the first instance of pop culture inflating real estate prices. In 1988, Bob Dylan's childhood home in the northern Minnesota town of Hibbing was up for sale at $84,000, a whole lot more than the appraised value of $46,000. (Relatedly, Dylan may have been looking at the Springsteen house—yes, the same one—when he was detained by police this summer and has recently visited John Lennon's childhood home, as well as Neil Young's.)
And over in San Francisco, the house that hosted the Party of Five is about to be listed. No word yet on the asking price, but it went for $5.4 million in 1999, well above market value. Just around the corner, the house where Arnold Schwarzenegger got knocked up in Junior is also on the market—and went for $55,000 more than asking price last time it was listed, in 2007.
I wonder how the poor New Jersey guy who drops $300,000 for the privilege of walking on the boss's floor will explain the purchase to his wife. "Honey, you don't understand! Springsteen wrote 'Born to Run' surrounded by these very walls! It's like we're living in the song!" But as memorabilia go, at least it's bolder than a T-shirt or a poster.
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