Reality can be a hard sell. No matter how much we pray inside our heads, no matter how hard we wish for something, if it defies the laws of physics, it ain’t gonna happen.
But I’m a middle-aged balding bearded white guy, and hearing that from me probably won’t dissuade people who think otherwise.
So maybe hearing it from puppet me will make it easier.
OK, maybe not. But that’s a way more adorable version of me either way (even if the beard looks more like some kind weird veiny zombie thing going on).
This PSA was brought to you by Death By Puppets.
TODAY IN SLATE
Meet the New Bosses
How the Republicans would run the Senate.
Even by Russian Standards, Moscow’s Anti-War March Was Surprisingly Grim
I Wrote a Novel Envisioning a Nigerian Space Program. Then I Learned Nigeria Actually Has One.
The Best Thing About the People’s Climate March in NYC
Friends Was the Last Purely Pleasurable Sitcom
This Whimsical Driverless Car Imagines Transportation in 2059
Did America Get Fat by Drinking Diet Soda?
A high-profile study points the finger at artificial sweeteners.