Bad Astronomy

Aliens build a galaxy!

Back in 2004, European astronomers announced evidence of a tremendously distant galaxy, discovered only because its light was magnified and brightened by a gravitational lens. If this pans out (it appears that it’s still unconfirmed) it would be the most distant galaxy ever detected, a numbing 13.2 billion light years away.

Being rational, I didn’t realize is how much cooler this news really is: it’s actually evidence of a vast alien civilization artificially engineering galaxies!

I have no idea how I missed this.

I mean, it’s so obvious:

Intervention was needed by the Type IV civilization that created the big bang in their massive inter-universe particle colliders. The big bang created a black hole in the hyperspace – our universe with three spatial dimensions and a forward moving single time dimension. According to scientists this was the start of ‘dark ages’ that was eventually corrected through the intervention of the Type IV civilization.

Hmmm, “according to scientists”, it says. I’m really sorry the article didn’t give their names. I sure would like to talk with them! C’mon, if they know about black holes in hyperspace then I would love to chat with them over a few drinks. Or a few hundred, maybe. After reading that whole article I doubt I have many brain cells left to kill anyway.

Tip o’ the tin foil beanie to Fark and the dozen or two BABloggees who sent this to me.