A close reading of Apple CEO Steve Jobs' e-mail correspondence.

Are you having a problem with your new iPhone's antenna? Have you had bad reception or seen calls drop when you hold the iPhone 4 a certain way?

Let's e-mail Apple CEO Steve Jobs for help. Got any ideas, Steve?

There is no reception issue.

Wait, what? I think you're ignoring reality, Steve. Look at all these videos showing the phone losing its connection when you hold it along its left seam. Come on, Steve, at least cop to the problem!

Just avoid holding it in that way.

Seriously? That's your advice? You think people need a lesson in how to hold their phones? Isn't there some way to fix the phone so folks can hold it any way they like? After all, here's a picture of you, Steve, holding the phone in exactly the same way that you're telling people not to.

Gripping any phone will result in some attenuation of its antenna performance, with certain places being worse than others depending on the placement of the antennas. This is a fact of life for every wireless phone. If you ever experience this on your iPhone 4, avoid gripping it in the lower left corner in a way that covers both sides of the black strip in the metal band, or simply use one of many available cases.

Hello? Are you still there, Steve? That sounded like something crafted by the PR department. *

OK, let's get this straight: You want people to buy your $29 iPhone "bumper" just to avoid dropped calls? Doesn't that strike you as slimy? Especially considering this leaked Apple document prohibiting customer service representatives from "appeasing customers with free bumpers."

I can't tell you whether or not the new iPhone has a potentially devastating problem with its antenna; I don't have one yet, so I haven't been able to try the iPhone death grip. Reports suggest the reception problems are affecting lots of people, but that it is inconsistent and depends on a range of factors, including the network in your area and the specific phone you happen to own. It's unclear if Apple can find a way to fix it, given all these variables.