Seth: Well, I guess it’s time to address the elephant in the room—porno. We all know we’re going to be getting dirty with our video games, and if not us, our children, or our children’s children.
Evan: The future can wait. We have to live in the now!
Seth: You’re right. These days I mostly like to play games where you shoot people. Call of Duty, GTA 5, and such.
Evan: I’m an iPad tower defense addict. There’s something wrong with me. I just love games where things are sent in waves and I get to destroy them with strategy.
Seth: That’s a dark want.
Evan: It’s who I am.
Seth: A crazy thing I think about sometimes is that there are teenagers operating video games connected to deadly drones that fly around the world blowing stuff up. That ’80s movie War Games is real now. And what to us is a nonthreatening drone will eventually probably turn into, yes, Skynet. All roads lead to Skynet.
Evan: I think at this point most people would agree that a robot takeover is how things end. I’m personally at peace with that inevitability.
Seth: I still can’t get over the whole Nintendo Wii revolution, with these games you have to move around to. When we were growing up, playing video games made you fat and lazy, not nimble and coordinated.
Evan: I really got into Wii Fit for a while. It was pretty addictive at first, but then it made fun of me too much and mucked up my self-esteem.
Seth: Now kids are getting their self-esteem messed with through video games way more than when we were kids, thanks to this whole online gaming thing.
Evan: I try to get into online gaming every now and then, and I constantly find there’s young kids out there who are so much better than me I can’t even participate.
Seth: Yeah. It’s weird to think we are 31 and already we can’t keep up.
Evan: Eventually we won’t even understand the images on the screen.
Seth: Like how my grandmother would view death metal.
Evan: I’m not a huge fan of death metal myself.
Seth: Death Metal’s a great name for a video game.
Evan: I read once that the band Journey had a video game where you could put your face onto the main character. I want that. It’s silly that I can’t be the character in the game yet.
Seth: Yeah. And it’d be cool if it used your contact list for names and incorporated your real life a lot.
Evan: But then, once again, robots would take over the world.
Seth: So what we’re realizing here is video games may not ever get better than they are now, because if they did, robots would take over the world.
Evan: I think so.
Seth: Let’s take this full-circle and connect it to the book our honorable reader is about to read: Nintendo was king of home video game entertainment systems, then Sega came in and was a contender for the crown. Sega almost toppled Nintendo with their subversive and more adult-oriented games, and these games have led us to a world where GTA and Call of Duty are the top games, and the next step is to have the games incorporate stuff about us and our personal lives, and then sentient technology will inevitably disassociate from mankind and some robot like Skynet will rise up and destroy us all. Hence: the “Console Wars” between Nintendo and Sega is what began a series of events that will lead to the end of humanity as we know it.
Evan: Bam! That’s what video games mean to us.
Seth: Damn. I think we nailed this foreword stuff. Our style may have been unconventional, but we ultimately tied it to the downfall of mankind, which is cool.
Evan: I couldn’t agree more. Our next movie should be called Foreword and be about this process.
Seth: Or Foreskin and be about a circumcision that changed humanity forever.
Evan: Both good ideas.
Seth: Okay. We should probably get home to our wives now.
Evan: Yes. We love our wives. Let that be noted.
Seth: See you at work!
From the book CONSOLE WARS: Sega, Nintendo, and the Battle That Defined a Generation by Blake J. Harris. Copyright © 2014 by Blake J. Harris. It Books, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. Reprinted by permission.