The NBA Playoffs

David Stern Is Evil
The stadium scene.
May 16 2007 4:34 PM

The NBA Playoffs


Dear Paul:

We interrupt our regularly scheduled correspondence to bring you this bulletin:


The NBA is dead to me.

I've been able to ignore the encroaching signs of the league's irrelevance, have been able to put aside its asinine marketing campaigns, pretentious self-regard, and general lack of affection for what you rightly call the world's greatest game. Mostly, I've been able to ignore it thanks to the last three Suns seasons, the most entertaining run by a nonchampionship basketball team in NBA history. But what happened yesterday destroys any last shred of love I had for the pro game. The NBA, for some reason, has decided to suspend the Suns' Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw for leaving the bench following Robert Horry's violent takedown of Steve Nash. The league is rewarding the Spurs for continually inflicting brutal punishment on a team that plays by the rules and punishing the Suns for breaking a crap rule that is wide open to misinterpretation. Two players have been suspended for standing up to check on their hurt teammate. Unbelievable.

My judgment may be clouded because I'm a Suns fan, but I have to say this: Evil is afoot. David Stern is evil. Stu Jackson is evil. The Spurs are at least 60 percent evil. The NBA is 100 percent wrong. I've been following sports since before you were born (a ridiculous but true fact), and I've never seen a team get ripped off this badly, in any sport. Sure, I'll be glad if the Suns find a way to win the series without two of their six best players. And I'll be dancing in the streets if they can bounce back from these insane suspensions to win the title. But support the NBA? I'd rather give $1,000 at an Exxon fund-raiser.

I won't be attending any games. I won't be buying any merchandise. I won't be paying a dime for their League Pass. I can't support the Friends of Bruce Bowen.

Screw the NBA.



PS: How's it going with the book promotion? I may not know much about hoops, but I know a hell of a lot about slutting around the book circuit.



Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem

Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology. 

I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.

Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.

Lifetime Didn’t Think the Steubenville Rape Case Was Dramatic Enough

So they added a little self-immolation.

Two Damn Good, Very Different Movies About Soldiers Returning From War

Medical Examiner

The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola 

The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.

Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore, and Schools Are Getting Worried

The Good Wife Is Cynical, Thrilling, and Grown-Up. It’s Also TV’s Best Drama.

  News & Politics
Sept. 19 2014 9:15 PM Chris Christie, Better Than Ever
Business Insider
Sept. 20 2014 6:30 AM The Man Making Bill Gates Richer
Sept. 20 2014 7:27 AM How Do Plants Grow Aboard the International Space Station?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 19 2014 4:58 PM Steubenville Gets the Lifetime Treatment (And a Cheerleader Erupts Into Flames)
  Slate Plus
Slate Picks
Sept. 19 2014 12:00 PM What Happened at Slate This Week? The Slatest editor tells us to read well-informed skepticism, media criticism, and more.
Brow Beat
Sept. 19 2014 4:48 PM You Should Be Listening to Sbtrkt
Future Tense
Sept. 19 2014 6:31 PM The One Big Problem With the Enormous New iPhone
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 20 2014 7:00 AM The Shaggy Sun
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.