Barcelona, Real Madrid: Two of the world's most beautiful teams play a fascinating, infuriating series.

The stadium scene.
May 3 2011 6:58 AM

Not So Clásico

The fascinating, infuriating series between Real Madrid and F.C. Barcelona.

Barcelona soccer team. Click image to expand.
F.C. Barcelona

Real Madrid and F.C. Barcelona feature some of the best soccer players on earth, are the world's two richest clubs, embody drastically opposed philosophies of the game, have combined to win more than 140 trophies, and share a complex, antagonistic history that ties their rivalry inescapably to the Spanish Civil War. (Fascists kidnapped and executed Barcelona's club president in 1936; the Franco regime used Madrid as a symbol of Spanish nationalism.) Any game between these two clubs is a big deal. Four Clásicos in 18 days is, in the soccer universe, a quasar.

The clubs have now played three of these matches—the fourth, the second leg of their Champions League semi, comes on Tuesday—and so far they've been notable for two things: hysterical, operatic drama off the pitch, and brooding, bad-tempered, tedious soccer on it. On April 16, the teams drew 1-1 in a cagey game in La Liga; the goals were routine penalties plunked in by the last two world players of the year, Barcelona's Leo Messi and Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo. On April 20, Madrid beat Barcelona 1-0 in the final of the Copa del Rey—Madrid's first win over their Catalan rivals since 2008—on a header from Ronaldo during an extra-time period that, against the odds, managed to be kind of fun. A week later, in the first leg of the Champions League tie, Barcelona beat Madrid 2-0 behind two goals from Messi.

Advertisement

From a tactical standpoint, if you'll indulge me in a bit of faint praise, the games have been interesting. Starting with the first match, Real Madrid moved its Portuguese defender Pepe into the midfield, where he acted as a throttle on Xavi and on Barcelona's free-flowing passing game. Madrid, a haphazard squad rigged together from madly expensive superstar parts (Ronaldo, $130 million; Kaka, who's spent the series camped on the bench, $80 million), essentially conceded Barcelona's technical superiority and played a game of defensive attrition. This was very much the style favored by Real's sleek, sneering coach, Jose Mourinho, who has always preferred organization, and the possibility of frustrating his opponent, to flair. The kind way to describe Mourinho's approach is to say that Madrid held their formation and looked for a goal on the counter. The unkind way is to say that they looked like a bloodthirsty foosball table.

Either way, it worked, or it would have if Mourinho's tactics hadn't also called for an enthusiastic exploration of the line between clean, hard tackling and criminal battery. Madrid players have been sent off in four consecutive Clásicos; they've finished a man down in every match in the current series. Messi, Barcelona's tousle-headed striker, is without peer as a player, but Pepe's lumbering presence kept him just about bottled up in Wednesday's first half. Then the Portuguese defender got a red card—controversially, but as Gerard Pique pointed out later, Madrid was playing with fire—and Messi scored two goals.

Though the games have been intellectually intriguing, in every other way—emotionally, aesthetically—they've landed with a thunk.Two of the world's most beautiful teams, given an unprecedented opportunity to test each other's skill, have instead goaded the worst out of each other. Barcelona, which could play against elves and still be the finesse side, has reacted to Madrid's tough defending by diving (and writhing around, clutching their faces, thanking the academy, etc.) at the wispiest opportunity. Madrid has displayed an entirely different brand of cowardice by deciding, despite having one of the most awesome batteries of weaponry in the modern game, to power down the neutron core and play like clumsy underdogs. The matches have been tense and nasty. At one point on Wednesday, after Pepe was sent off, Messi dribbled through five Madrid defenders and skipped the ball past the goalkeeper to score. It was a breathtaking moment that felt weirdly unconnected to anything else that was happening, as if Messi were just dropping in from another plane of existence.

And in fact there is another plane in these matches, it's just that it isn't Messi's. It's the plane of hype, spin, and conspiracy-mongering—the joyful element of Madrid manager Jose Mourinho. Billowing over the entire series, like a dark cloud leased from Karl Rove, has been a cloak of lies, innuendoes, counter-lies, and counter-innuendoes, most of them released into the world by Real's manipulative coach.

TODAY IN SLATE

History

The Self-Made Man

The story of America’s most pliable, pernicious, irrepressible myth.

The GOP Senate Candidate in Iowa Doesn’t Want Voters to Know Just How Conservative She Really Is

Does Your Child Have “Sluggish Cognitive Tempo”? Or Is That Just a Disorder Made Up to Scare You?

The Supreme Court, Throughout Its History, Has Been a Massive Disappointment

Why Indians in America Are Mad for India’s New Prime Minister

Damned Spot

Now Stare. Don’t Stop.

The perfect political wife’s loving gaze in campaign ads.

Building a Better Workplace

You Deserve a Pre-cation

The smartest job perk you’ve never heard of.

Rehtaeh Parsons Was the Most Famous Victim in Canada. Now, Journalists Can’t Even Say Her Name.

Parents, Get Your Teenage Daughters the IUD

The XX Factor
Sept. 30 2014 12:34 PM Parents, Get Your Teenage Daughters the IUD
Moneybox
Sept. 30 2014 12:04 PM John Hodgman on Why He Wore a Blue Dress to Impersonate Ayn Rand
  News & Politics
Jurisprudence
Sept. 30 2014 2:36 PM This Court Erred The Supreme Court has almost always sided with the wealthy, the privileged, and the powerful.
  Business
Building a Better Workplace
Sept. 30 2014 1:16 PM You Deserve a Pre-cation The smartest job perk you’ve never heard of.
  Life
Education
Sept. 30 2014 1:48 PM Thrashed Florida State’s new president is underqualified and mistrusted. But here’s how he can turn it around.
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 30 2014 12:34 PM Parents, Get Your Teenage Daughters the IUD
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Sept. 30 2014 3:21 PM Meet Jordan Weissmann Five questions with Slate’s senior business and economics correspondent.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Sept. 30 2014 2:56 PM How Faithful Is David Fincher’s Gone Girl?
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 30 2014 2:38 PM Scientists Use Electrical Impulses to Help Paralyzed Rats Walk Again
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 30 2014 7:30 AM What Lurks Beneath the Methane Lakes of Titan?
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 28 2014 8:30 PM NFL Players Die Young. Or Maybe They Live Long Lives. Why it’s so hard to pin down the effects of football on players’ lives.