How to fake your way through the 2009 postseason.

Historical context: Jackson is known for buying inspirational books for his players to read on road trips. While you are generally a fan of this motivational strategy, you suspect that What Should I Do With My Life? may not have been the best choice for Adam Morrison.

Conversation starter: "Pau Gasol complements Kobe better than Shaq ever did."

Conversation stopper: "And I compliment Kobe all the time on my blog, sayingnicethingsaboutkobebryant.wordpress.com."

Utah Jazz

Jazz talking points: Ronnie Brewer? Paul Millsap? C.J. Miles? The Jazz roster sounds more like a list of John Coltrane sidemen than a bunch of basketball players. Maybe it doesn't matter—the Jazz always make the playoffs, no matter who is on the roster. Still, you should kindly but firmly shoot down your friend's contention that, next year, Utah should sign Clark Terry.

Historical context: Jerry Sloan has coached the Jazz since 1988. While your friends might wonder why it is that he's never won coach of the year, you agree with the voters that mumbling angrily about "these damn kids" and constantly mistaking Mehmet Okur for Karl Malone is evidence of senility, not genius.

Conversation starter: "Kyle Korver's the sort of guy who can catch fire in the playoffs and really change a game."

Conversation stopper: "Basketball is for wusses. Bernie Brewer could drink Ronnie Brewer under the table any day of the week."

NUGGETS VS. HORNETS

Denver Nuggets