"They do suck," I said. "They suck so bad. I'm sorry."
At the moment, I'd agree to carry the kid to school on my back if she asked me. The Dodgers can do no wrong, and they now feature Greg Maddux, one of my favorite players of all time. I'm a happy man. My team, as of this writing, has won 11 out of 12, and I have tickets for tonight. I'm taking my kid, so I won't be stoned, and I'll probably have to spend half the game pretending to be a bear. But it doesn't matter, because I've also got tickets for Monday. And I might buy tickets for Sunday night. The Giants are in town, and it's on ESPN. I'll just leave that going-away party early. I'm sure my family won't mind.
TODAY IN SLATE
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How the Republicans would run the Senate.
The Government Is Giving Millions of Dollars in Electric-Car Subsidies to the Wrong Drivers
Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.
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Why all cracker names sound alike.
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This Whimsical Driverless Car Imagines Transportation in 2059
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Did America Get Fat by Drinking Diet Soda?
A high-profile study points the finger at artificial sweeteners.