The Guy Who Just Bought an And1 Video: Jon Barry, Houston Rockets (already eliminated from the playoffs)
Wait, what do you want us to call you again? I can never remember, is it Handles McKrissKross or KrissKross McHandles? OK, please stop spinning the ball on your finger. And yes, I'm pretty sure it is traveling when you run into the lane with the ball tucked between your knees.
The Guy Who Wants To Play Half-Court: Shawn Bradley, Dallas Mavericks
"We'll get less tired," he cries. "We can play longer!" Stringy beanpole players who are long in the arm and short on energy will say anything to convince you that it's a bad idea to run back and forth. Half-court basketball is their evolutionary niche—they can stand under the basket gobbling up rebounds and tapping in misses without ever moving their size-19 feet. Shawn Bradley is just one rule change away from being the NBA Finals MVP. So, how about a half-court championship series, Mr. Commissioner? Come on, we could make it best five out of nine!