Tuesday Morning Quarterback.

The stadium scene.
Dec. 24 2001 9:37 PM

TMQ Sponsors the Fiasco Bowl

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(Continued from Page 5)

After TMQ's item on the Rams cheer-babes, many readers, including Jeff Chunko, conducted close textual analyses of the St. Louis cheerleaders site and found that cheerleader Adrianne Porter (click "Adrianne" toward the bottom of this page) lists her occupation as "brewery chemist." Chunko opines that a hot blonde who makes beer is "every football fan's dream." Not every fan's dream, according to modern demographics. Another reader adds in haiku,

Brews and bikinis—

Rams babe Adrianne Porter.

Drink and be merry!

—Jeff Danielson

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Finally reader Josh Benninghoff notes, apropos of rest stops along the Jersey Turnpike, that no discussion of the New Jersey highway system can be complete without mention of Exit 120 of the Garden State Expressway-the Cheesequake exit, which leads to Cheesequake State Park. This picturesque preserve offers "easy access to nearby saltmarshes."

Waitress, I'd like a blueberry-almond martini-very blue-and a cheesequake, please.

Last Week's Challenge … was to come up with new names for play categories.

Tuesday Morning Quarterback kicked it off by proposing that a play that looks like a double reverse, but isn't, be called a "squamish." Reader Chopper suggested that a play on which a quarterback scrambles and then fumbles be called a "scrumble."

Here are other nominees:

Reader "FragMeister" suggests that when a kicker launching a punt from inside the opponent's 45 booms it through to end zone-thus adding to his yardage stats but allowing the opponent to start from the 20-this be called a "stupunt."

Reader D.C. Poindexter proposes that when an offensive lineman "tips" the play by altering his stance-essentially, in Poindexter's view, overacting-this be called a "shatner."

"Headhunt23" suggests that obviously dogging it during games be called "mossing," while the coach who does nothing about a star player who is obviously dogging is "greening." In similar spirit, Tim Lowell suggests that any running play on which a wide receiver stands around and refuses to block be called a "moss."

Reader "TheSteven" offers this haikuized nomer,

TODAY IN SLATE

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The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola 

The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.

I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.

Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.

Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore

And schools are getting worried.

Global Marches Demand Action on Climate Change

Politics

Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem

Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology. 

Why a Sketch of Chelsea Manning Is Stirring Up Controversy

How Worried Should Poland, the Baltic States, and Georgia Be About a Russian Invasion?

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