Bartender, comebacks for everyone!

The Jets came back from 19-7 late in the fourth. The Raiders came back from 21-0. The Ravens came back from 23-7. Last year's Super Bowl combatants had to come back: the Rams coming back to win with 23 seconds on the clock, the Tennessee Flaming Ts coming back to tie with 50 seconds left, then to win in overtime. The Cardinals came back to win on the final possession—of course Arizona is in a comeback situation from the opening kickoff. Even the New Orleans Saints won in a last-second comeback.

Merely typing the words, "the New Orleans Saints won in a last-second comeback" holds for TMQ the same thrill and novelty as typing, "collapse of the former Soviet Union" or "quarterly profit announced by Web retailer."

(See complaints about Monday Night Football below; special Dennis Miller denunciations section.)

Best Call of the Week: On the road in Indianapolis, the Raiders had rallied from their 21-0 deficit to take a 31-24 lead at the beginning of the fourth quarter. Oakland had the ball deep in its territory and the home faithful were roaring in the Colts' noisy dome. Worse, far worse, the crowd was armed with towels; strong men grow weak when they glimpse Indianans politely sitting in seats holding towels. (See "New York Times Final-Score Score" below.) Steeling themselves against towel-induced panic, Oakland staged a nearly 10-minute clock-killer drive that ended with the touchdown that put the game away.

TMQ salutes the fact that on this drive, Oakland coaches called runs on 10 of 13 plays. It's astonishing how often, in late-game situations, the team with the lead goes jackrabbit and attempts passes—which fall incomplete and stop the clock from grinding—rather than just mindlessly bashing into the line and sustaining that tick-tick-tick. Oakland dared to be mindless and was rewarded with victory.

Worst Call of the Week: Trailing by six in the opening half, the Eagles had first and goal at the Jersey Giants one. Did they pound the ball once, twice, three times, four times? No, QB Donovan McNabb dropped back, back, back and lost 15 yards on a sack; it turned into a passing series, and Philadelphia had to settle for a field goal.

Then, trailing by 17 in the second half, the Eagles had third and one in Giants territory. Did they pound the ball once, twice? No, they threw incomplete on third and kicked on fourth. Jimmy Johnson used to say that if you can't gain one single yard by running straight ahead, you don't deserve to win. The Eagles didn't even try to gain the key single yards of the game by running, and did not win. Fun fact: After Eagles back Duce Staley had a great opening day, Sportstalk.com declared him an NFL MVP candidate. Staley production this week: 11 yards on seven carries.

The Minkey Is off Their Back: Baltimore took its first-ever lead in the AFC Central on the strength of its first-ever defeat of Jacksonville. Ah, it was good to see Jax coach Tom Coughlin—one of the league's worst sports, he shouts insults at the other team and stomps in anger when the opposition makes good plays the way 6-year-olds do—suffer on the sideline.

Football Haikus of the Week: A sensitive entrant to last week's TMQ Trivia Challenge went the poetry option one better and responded in haiku. (See below.) This threw TMQ into a deeply contemplative, reflective mood in which he dreamed wistfully of the beauty of nature, the fleeting flutelike melody that is life, the taste of beer, and the sight of Cindy Crawford in that movie poster she did half-naked and wearing handcuffs.