New Jersey Resplendent

The stadium scene.
Sept. 19 2000 9:00 PM

New Jersey Resplendent

(Continued from Page 2)

New team in Houston
Houstonians much too long
Settle for Texans


This, from a reader screen-named Betty Boop:

Monday Night once more
No one to talk to again
I take up haiku

And a reader screen-named Woman Reader writes:

If I have to read
One more Cindy Crawford ref
It's one too many

TMQ takes your point on that last one. Cindy never calls anymore, anyway. What a blunder it was to mispronounce "Versace" in front of her. (Wait, that was a ref.)

Readers are invited to continue to submit football haiku or heroic couplets. No blank verse, though: TMQ is a traditionalist. Use "The Fray," and title your entries "Football Haiku" or "Football Heroic Couplets," and so on. Don't try to cheat on the iambic pentameter. TMQ once took an English lit course in college—"The Analogy as a Metaphor for Symbolism"—and will catch you.

Gorzon, Activate the Nedney Unit! Sebastian Janikowski, the Oakland Raiders' No.-1-draft-pick huge-bonus place-kicker, is now two-for-five in field-goal attempts. On Sunday, he fell down on his rear while attempting a kickoff. Joe Nedney, the minimum-salary kicker Oakland cut to make room for Janikowski, went four-for-four kicking for the Broncos as they defeated—the Raiders.

Hidden Indicator of the Week: Five teams scored touchdowns in the final minute of the first half, but no team scored a touchdown in the final minute of the second half. This is the kind of hidden indicator that is essential to an insider's understanding of the NFL. Unfortunately, Tuesday Morning Quarterback has no idea what it means.

Running Items Department

Obscure College Score of the Week: (New item.) Tuesday Morning Quarterback has long experienced a sense of peace and contentment whenever reading, on Sunday mornings in the fall, those long columns of scores from football games involving obscure schools such as Bemidji State, Ferrum, Indiana of Pennsylvania, Lenoir-Rhyne, Ursinus, and Wisconsin-Stout.



The Ebola Story

How our minds build narratives out of disaster.

The Budget Disaster That Completely Sabotaged the WHO’s Response to Ebola

PowerPoint Is the Worst, and Now It’s the Latest Way to Hack Into Your Computer

The Shooting Tragedies That Forged Canada’s Gun Politics

A Highly Unscientific Ranking of Crazy-Old German Beers


Welcome to 13th Grade!

Some high schools are offering a fifth year. That’s a great idea.


The Actual World

“Mount Thoreau” and the naming of things in the wilderness.

Want Kids to Delay Sex? Let Planned Parenthood Teach Them Sex Ed.

Would You Trust Walmart to Provide Your Health Care? (You Should.)

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