How To Watch the Winter Olympics

A Mega Sno-Bo-Cross Spoiler!
Scenes from the Olympics.
Feb. 17 2006 4:48 PM

How To Watch the Winter Olympics



"Sno-bo-cross" is an inspired coinage. May Safire someday cite you.

Troy Patterson Troy Patterson

Troy Patterson is Slate's writer at large and writes the Gentleman Scholar column.


To "speed check" is "to slide sideways in order to quickly slow down before a jump." Come to think of it, it would have been brilliant for NBC to convene a couple of language mavens for a panel on the etymology of snowboarding—a quick history of "camber" and "chatter" and "duckfoot." Perhaps in Vancouver.

There still remains your fundamental charge. I'm too flustered and hurt by this attack on my newfound love to compose much of a response. I will grant that we ought to have learned more about where the line between "incidental contact" and "third-degree assault" gets drawn. I will respectfully disagree about the utility of the replays; these offered clarity and have made me a more discerning connoisseur of the awesome, which, like the sublime, transcends human reason. If you had paid closer attention and developed your own powers of discernment, you would understand that. 

Good night, and good riddance,



First off, let me say that there is a MEGA SNO-BO-CROSS SPOILER a few paragraphs down. Be warned!

As Seth pointed out, the ratings have been unimpressive. I had been about to suggest that if NBC wants to beat tonight's two-hour Trading Spouses special, it ought to use the next four hours or so to blitz the republic with hype about Lindsey Jacobellis, America's foremost women's sno-bo-crosser and a young Vermonter who makes Hannah Teter look like an Alabama debutante. Look at this tangle of hair! Here is a new breed of sports starlet—an antidote to prissy figure skaters and media-coached downhill skiers and exhibitionist curlers!

Then she blew it. With a big lead in today's final, she came hot-dogging down the home stretch, celebrating her victory rather too soon. She fell. She had to settle for silver.

If the network tries to sell the evening's programming by highlighting the comeuppance of an angel-faced 20-year-old, it will be lucky to beat the Weather Channel.

Thus, it is onward to ice dancing. Seth, is there a silver lining here?

Thanks for playing,


The Slatest

Ben Bradlee Dead at 93

The legendary Washington Post editor presided over the paper’s Watergate coverage.

This Scene From All The President’s Men Captures Ben Bradlee’s Genius

Renée Zellweger’s New Face Is Too Real

Sleater-Kinney Was Once America’s Best Rock Band

Can it be again?

Whole Foods Is Desperate for Customers to Feel Warm and Fuzzy Again

The XX Factor

I’m 25. I Have $250.03.

My doctors want me to freeze my eggs.

The XX Factor
Oct. 20 2014 6:17 PM I’m 25. I Have $250.03. My doctors want me to freeze my eggs.

Forget Oculus Rift

This $25 cardboard box turns your phone into an incredibly fun virtual reality experience.

George Tiller’s Murderer Threatens Another Abortion Provider, Claims Free Speech

The Congressional Republican Digging Through Scientists’ Grant Proposals

  News & Politics
The World
Oct. 21 2014 3:13 PM Why Countries Make Human Rights Pledges They Have No Intention of Honoring
Oct. 21 2014 5:57 PM Soda and Fries Have Lost Their Charm for Both Consumers and Investors
The Vault
Oct. 21 2014 2:23 PM A Data-Packed Map of American Immigration in 1903
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 21 2014 3:03 PM Renée Zellweger’s New Face Is Too Real
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Oct. 21 2014 1:02 PM Where Are Slate Plus Members From? This Weird Cartogram Explains. A weird-looking cartogram of Slate Plus memberships by state.
Brow Beat
Oct. 21 2014 9:42 PM The All The President’s Men Scene That Perfectly Captured Ben Bradlee’s Genius
Oct. 21 2014 5:38 PM Justified Paranoia Citizenfour offers a look into the mind of Edward Snowden.
  Health & Science
Climate Desk
Oct. 21 2014 11:53 AM Taking Research for Granted Texas Republican Lamar Smith continues his crusade against independence in science.
Sports Nut
Oct. 20 2014 5:09 PM Keepaway, on Three. Ready—Break! On his record-breaking touchdown pass, Peyton Manning couldn’t even leave the celebration to chance.