This One Will Take a Lot More Than 16 Words
Iran. President Bush asserts that the elite Iranian Quds Force has been supplying Iraqi Shiites with "explosively formed penetrators"—the most terrifying-sounding weapon since the garrote. Iran denies all knowledge, responsibility, and, for good measure, the Holocaust. Bush insists this is not a pretext for war, as the pre-Iraq WMD claims were. The difference: These weapons actually exist.
Libby Defense Rests Its Case—or What's Left of It
Crime. Scooter Libby's defense team rests its case after ushering in an all-star cast of journalists, including Bob Novak, the guy who started it all but somehow came out unscathed. One former aide testifies Libby had an "awful memory"—bad enough to unwittingly commit perjury but good enough to be chief of staff to the vice president of the United States. On Valentine's Day, the jury arrives wearing red shirts decorated with hearts—that is, every juror but one. If the jury can't even reach a unanimous verdict about holiday fashion, the defense may just have a chance.
Ice, Ice, Baby
Weather. Blustery snowstorms complicate Valentine's Day (even further) for everyone but school kids, who get to spend the day at home gorging on ungifted candy hearts. At least 13 deaths are blamed on the storms, although that's before adjusting for broken hearts. With District-area schools and businesses incapacitated, snow snobs everywhere agree it's time to move the capital back to Philly.