What Washington is talking about this week.

What Washington is talking about.
Nov. 4 2006 7:05 AM

Zeitgeist Checklist, Kerry's Back Edition

What Washington is talking about this week.


1. Last week: 2 Weeks on list: 8 [UP ARROW]

Who Do You Trust To Clean Our Mess? Republicans. After Iraq, Katrina, a slew of GOP corruption, and former Rep. Mark Foley, Karl Rove finally rolls out his October Surprise: Sen. John F. Kerry. Polls suggest that if Kerry keeps talking, Republicans will easily hold the House and the Senate and might win the Nicaraguan elections as well. To close the deal, they're asking voters to extend their control of Congress with a Pottery Barn appeal: We broke it, we own it!

2. Last week: 7 Weeks on list: 6 [UP ARROW]

Stay (On) the (Golf) Course Democrats. Kerry apologizes for his botched joke and agrees to sit out the rest of the 2006 campaign. But he refuses to apologize for the 2004 campaign, which was also a botched joke. Still, confident Democrats are making post-victory plans: Charles Rangel wants to raise taxes, John Conyers wants to impeach President Bush, and James Webb wants to publish an X-rated Congressional Record.

3. Last week: 1 Weeks on list: 19 [DOWN ARROW]

The Decider Iraq. Bush says he's pleased with the nation's progress in Iraq. He says he's also pleased with Keanu Reeves' progress as an actor. Meanwhile, U.S. troops abandon a mission to rescue a kidnapped soldier after Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki complains. An outraged Bush says there's only one man who can tell U.S. troops what to do: James Baker.

4. New This Week [UP ARROW]

Look Who's Talking North Korea. A month after its dysfunctional nuclear test, North Korea wants to return to the table. Kim Jong-il says that if the West agrees to drop sanctions, North Korea will agree not to build any more nukes that don't work. Meanwhile, the Bush administration pulls an atomic-bomb manual off of a government Web site. And Kim offers a new deal: He'll accept sanctions if someone will teach him how to use the Google cache.

5. New This Week [UP ARROW]

Fish Story Science. A new report on the depletion of the oceans predicts that the world will run out of seafood by 2048, which means that the troops coming home from Iraq won't be able to celebrate over sea bass or tuna tartare. In brighter news, a new report on climate change predicts a 3.6 degree to 5.4 degree increase in global temperatures by 2056, which means that there should be balmy weather the next time the Redskins have a Super Bowl parade.

6. New This Week [UP ARROW]

That Might Not Be Far Enough, Anyway Space. NASA announces that it will launch a shuttle mission in 2008 to try to fix the Hubble Space Telescope, 380 miles above Earth. Despite pleadings from Democratic Party leaders, Kerry will not be sent on the mission.

7. New This Week [UP ARROW]

Come On Down! Corruption. Republican congressmen quietly enact a provision to oust the Pentagon's inspector general for Iraq, Stuart Bowen Jr., a dogged investigator who has uncovered billions of dollars in waste and abuse. After the provision is exposed, GOP leaders say they'll find someone just as qualified to watch the bottom line in Iraq. In unrelated news, 82-year-old Bob Barker announces that he's leaving The Price Is Right.

8. New This Week [UP ARROW]

Love the Sinner, Love the Sin Religion. The president of the National Association of Evangelicals, a staunch crusader against marriage and adoption by same-sex couples, resigns after allegations that he paid for gay sex. He says he still believes that marriage and adoption should be limited to heterosexual couples but that hypocrisy should be available to all Americans.

9. New This Week [UP ARROW]

This Calls for a Drink Medicine. A comprehensive new health study suggests that red wine can help obese mice live longer, providing scientific confirmation for the Elizabeth Taylor Hypothesis. On the other hand, it didn't seem to help Chris Farley.


Justice Ginsburg’s Crucial Dissent in the Texas Voter ID Case

Even When They Go to College, the Poor Sometimes Stay Poor

Here’s Just How Far a Southern Woman May Have to Drive to Get an Abortion

The Most Ingenious Teaching Device Ever Invented

Marvel’s Civil War Is a Far-Right Paranoid Fantasy

It’s also a mess. Can the movies do better?


Sprawl, Decadence, and Environmental Ruin in Nevada

Space: The Next Generation

An All-Female Mission to Mars

As a NASA guinea pig, I verified that women would be cheaper to launch than men.

Watching Netflix in Bed. Hanging Bananas. Is There Anything These Hooks Can’t Solve?

The Procedural Rule That Could Prevent Gay Marriage From Reaching SCOTUS Again

  News & Politics
Oct. 20 2014 3:53 PM Smash and Grab Will competitive Senate contests in Kansas and South Dakota lead to more late-breaking races in future elections?
Oct. 20 2014 5:39 PM Whole Foods Desperately Wants Customers to Feel Warm and Fuzzy Again
Oct. 20 2014 3:16 PM The Catholic Church Is Changing, and Celibate Gays Are Leading the Way
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 20 2014 1:10 PM Women Are Still Losing Jobs for Getting Pregnant
  Slate Plus
Tv Club
Oct. 20 2014 7:15 AM The Slate Doctor Who Podcast: Episode 9 A spoiler-filled discussion of "Flatline."
Brow Beat
Oct. 20 2014 5:03 PM Marcel the Shell Is Back and as Endearing as Ever
Future Tense
Oct. 20 2014 4:59 PM Canadian Town Cancels Outdoor Halloween Because Polar Bears
  Health & Science
Medical Examiner
Oct. 20 2014 11:46 AM Is Anybody Watching My Do-Gooding? The difference between being a hero and being an altruist.
Sports Nut
Oct. 20 2014 5:09 PM Keepaway, on Three. Ready—Break! On his record-breaking touchdown pass, Peyton Manning couldn’t even leave the celebration to chance.