What Washington is talking about this week.

What Washington is talking about.
Oct. 20 2006 6:42 PM

Zeitgeist Checklist: Still Turning the Corner

What Washington is talking about this week.

1. Last week: 4 Weeks on list: 17 [UP ARROW]

Tet For Tat Iraq. The violence intensifies, a phrase that is now F9 on the Zeitgeist Checklist's keyboard. Bush administration officials secretly prepare to Adapt and Adjust, or Redeploy and Reconfigure, or whatever it is they're calling Cut and Run these days. The president compares the crisis to the Tet Offensive but still rejects larger Vietnam analogies. He's right: In Vietnam, only half the country hated us.

2. Last week: 1 Week on list: 6 [DOWN ARROW]

Republicans. Despite awful poll numbers, the party accentuates the positive: The FBI raided only one GOP lawmaker last week, Rep. Curt Weldon, Pa. White House aides are not even allowed to discuss the possibility of losing Congress, which makes sense; they're too busy planning their Social Security-reform bill-signing ceremony and breaking ground on the Jenna Bush Presidential Library to worry about crazy hypotheticals.

3. Last week: 2 Weeks on list: 3 [DOWN ARROW]

Fallout North Korea. The fallout continues from Kim Jong-il's recent nuclear test. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice announces that America won't tolerate provocative actions against its Asian allies, while Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld orders his generals to draw up plans for an invasion of Bhutan.

4. Last week: 3 Weeks on list: 3 [DOWN ARROW]

Off-Massage Page-gate. A priest admits that he gave a teenage Mark Foley nude massages in the 1960s, although he says it didn't seem wrong at the time. Neither did LSD, Vietnam, or Jefferson Airplane, but we know better now, don't we? Meanwhile, as rumors swirl about a third representative with a page problem, R. Kelly files papers to run for Congress.

5. New This Week [UP ARROW]

Prevent Defense Homeland Security. Counterterrorism officials dismiss an Internet warning of "dirty bombs" in seven football stadiums and urge all Americans to go about their business. A nation of patriotic fans vows to continue to gorge on beer and stale nachos, while the Redskins vow to continue to stink.

6. New This Week [UP ARROW]

Manilow Tunes Are Still Beyond the Pale War on Terrorism. President Bush signs a bill allowing interrogators to use "coercive techniques," but not torture. According to military-law experts, waterboarding is torture, but forcing detainees to watch the Redskins is merely a coercive technique. The bill passed with overwhelming Republican support, although Mark Foley, speaking from Guantanamo Bay, says he now regrets his vote.

7. Last week: 7 Weeks on list: 4 [SAME]

The Defeatocrats Democrats. With polls suggesting a GOP freefall, Democrats try to figure out how on Earth they're going to lose the election this time. Not to worry: The Saddam Hussein verdict is now expected on Nov. 5, and election officials anticipate voting malfunctions on Nov. 7. Pencil in Nov. 6 for Osama's next video release.

8. New This Week [UP ARROW]

Earth First Space. Bush's new National Space Policy rejects arms-control agreements that could limit U.S. flexibility in the heavens. Bush denies that he's trying to militarize space, but Rumsfeld orders his generals to draw up plans for an invasion of Neptune. And the administration refuses to rule out attacks on additional planets or recently demoted planets; where do you think Kim Jong-il got his uranium and plutonium?

9. Last week: 5 Weeks on list: 3 [DOWN ARROW]

NYSE Package
Economy. As the Dow Jones industrial average breaks the 12,000 mark, a judge orders former New York Stock Exchange chief Dick Grasso to return most of his $188 million retirement package. The judge notes that the golden parachute was totally unheard of for nonprofit corporations, except for Ford and General Motors.

10. New This Week [UP ARROW]

Or Maybe Bipartisanshipium? Science. Researchers from Russia and the United States create a new element in an audacious lab experiment, but it exists for only one millisecond before it begins to decay. They're thinking of calling it stabilityiniraqium.



Forget Oculus Rift

This $25 cardboard box turns your phone into an incredibly fun virtual reality experience.

The Congressional Republican Digging Through Scientists’ Grant Proposals

The 2014 Kansas City Royals Show the Value of Building a Mediocre Baseball Team

The GOP Won’t Win Any Black Votes With Its New “Willie Horton” Ad

Whole Foods Is Desperate for Customers to Feel Warm and Fuzzy Again

The XX Factor

I’m 25. I Have $250.03.

My doctors want me to freeze my eggs.

The XX Factor
Oct. 20 2014 6:17 PM I’m 25. I Have $250.03. My doctors want me to freeze my eggs.

Smash and Grab

Will competitive Senate contests in Kansas and South Dakota lead to more late-breaking races in future elections?

I Am 25. I Don’t Work at Facebook. My Doctors Want Me to Freeze My Eggs.

These Companies in Japan Are More Than 1,000 Years Old

  News & Politics
The World
Oct. 21 2014 11:40 AM The U.S. Has Spent $7 Billion Fighting the War on Drugs in Afghanistan. It Hasn’t Worked. 
Oct. 21 2014 1:12 PM The Global Millionaires Club Is Booming and Losing Its Exclusivity
The Eye
Oct. 21 2014 1:47 PM How Designers Use Creative Briefs to Better Their Work
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 21 2014 1:12 PM George Tiller’s Murderer Threatens Another Abortion Provider, Claims Right of Free Speech
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Oct. 21 2014 1:02 PM Where Are Slate Plus Members From? This Weird Cartogram Explains. A weird-looking cartogram of Slate Plus memberships by state.
Brow Beat
Oct. 21 2014 1:47 PM The Best Way to Fry an Egg
Oct. 21 2014 10:43 AM Social Networking Didn’t Start at Harvard It really began at a girls’ reform school.
  Health & Science
Climate Desk
Oct. 21 2014 11:53 AM Taking Research for Granted Texas Republican Lamar Smith continues his crusade against independence in science.
Sports Nut
Oct. 20 2014 5:09 PM Keepaway, on Three. Ready—Break! On his record-breaking touchdown pass, Peyton Manning couldn’t even leave the celebration to chance.