Of course, Republicans will never fix their image problem until they fix their ideas problem. Hugging a Husky won't help if you still want to melt the polar ice caps. For all their talk of Joseph Schumpeter and creative destruction, conservatives have yet to realize the thrill of intellectual freedom that their current plight affords. It ought to be rejuvenating, like a new puppy.
After all, political bankruptcy is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to shed crushing liabilities and start over from scratch. As George Orwell wrote in Down and Out in Paris and London, the greatest liberation is having nothing left to lose: "One talks so often of going to the dogs. And here are the dogs, and you are among them, and you can bear it."
So by all means, Republican Party, get an idea. And in the meantime, get a dog. It's a great way to make friends, and good company even when you don't.
TODAY IN SLATE
Meet the New Bosses
How the Republicans would run the Senate.
The Government Is Giving Millions of Dollars in Electric-Car Subsidies to the Wrong Drivers
Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.
Cheez-Its. Ritz. Triscuits.
Why all cracker names sound alike.
Friends Was the Last Purely Pleasurable Sitcom
This Whimsical Driverless Car Imagines Transportation in 2059
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- Almost One in Four Americans Support Idea of Splitting From the Union
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A high-profile study points the finger at artificial sweeteners.