Apology cheat sheet: Who to call when you've made an offensive remark.

A cheat sheet for the news.
April 15 2011 3:12 PM

All Apologies

I've just offended Jews, Catholics, women, Arab-Americans, and the entire gay and lesbian community. Who should I call?

(Continued from Page 1)

Group offended: Arab-Americans
Sample offense: Benjamin Emanuel, Rahm's father, told an Israeli newspaper in 2008 that his son would influence President Obama to take pro-Israeli positions. "Why wouldn't he? What is he, an Arab?" the elder Emanuel asked. "He's not going to be mopping floors at the White House."
Sample apology: At the request of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee, Rahm Emanuel apologized for his father's remarks. Mary Rose Oakar, the president of ADC at the time, found his apology "humble and very sincere."
How to apologize: Sara Najjar-Wilson, the current ADC president, can be reached at president@adc.org. If one apology won't suffice, you can also try Arab-American Institute President James J. Zogby at jzogby@aaiusa.org.
What to say: You'd be happy to meet with Arab-American leaders to prove that your contrition is genuine.

Group offended: Catholics
Sample offense: When a woman emailed Wal-Mart in 2005 to complain that the phrase "Happy Holidays" had replaced "Merry Christmas," a customer-service representative responded, in part, that Christmas "is an ancient tradition that has its roots in Siberian shamanism." Catholic League president Bill Donohue announced a boycott of the discount chain.
Sample apology: Wal-Mart fired the customer-service rep, apologized for offending Christians, and changed its website so that the search term "Christmas" was not rerouted to "Holidays." Donohue called off the dogs.
How to apologize: Call the Catholic League at 212-371-3191.
What to say: Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.

Elizabeth Weingarten is the associate editor at New America and the associate director of its Global Gender Parity Initiative.

Chris Wilson is a Slate contributor.