Dear Prudence answers readers' questions live at

Real-time discussions with Slate writers.
July 27 2009 5:24 PM

Masseuse Rubbed Me the Wrong Way

Prudie counsels a woman who ordered a rubdown but got a shakedown—and other advice seekers.

(Continued from Page 3)

Bi-Bi Husband: Your advice to the woman who has discovered her husband's taste for gay porn was generally right on, but you lose points for not pointing out her husband of 30 years—who says he loves her and cherishes their marriage—might not be gay, but bisexual. This piece of advice is missed out nearly as often as "you could give it up for adoption." You say "It's possible your husband has always struggled with homosexual impulses, but that he also truly loves you and treasures your years together and the family you've made." Why not just mention the B-word here? Thanks, from all us invisible bisexuals out here!

Emily Yoffe: This is in response to a letter in the column last week from a woman who found out her husband of 30 years views gay pornography, has a membership to a gay health club, and carries Viagra in his gym bag he's not using for her. I have heard from many people denouncing me for not recognizing the man could be bi-sexual. But so what? When you marry someone you don't have a caveat that if they discover other aspects of their sexuality, they should be free to cheat on you because of that. He's been hiding a crucial part of himself. He has to be honest now, and the marriage has to be re-assessed on that basis.


Emily Yoffe: Thanks everyone! And I believe Emily Post will not take you to task if you write the thank you note, anyway.



Don’t Expect Adrian Peterson to Go to Prison

In much of America, beating your children is perfectly legal. 

Ken Burns on Why Teddy Roosevelt Would Never Get Elected in 2014

Cops Briefly Detain Django Unchained Actress Because They Thought She Was a Prostitute

Minimalist Cocktail Posters Make Mixing Drinks a Cinch

How the Apple Watch Will Annoy Us

A glowing screen attached to someone else’s wrist is shinier than all but the blingiest of jewels.


Rainbow Parties and Sex Bracelets

Where teenage sex rumors come from—and why they’re bad for parents and kids.


You Had to Be There

What we can learn from things that used to be funny.

Legendary Critic Greil Marcus Measures and Maps Rock History Through 10 Unlikely Songs

Catfish Creator Nev Schulman’s Book Is Just Like Him: Self-Deluded and Completely Infectious

Sept. 12 2014 5:54 PM An Up-Close Look at the U.S.–Mexico Border
  News & Politics
Sept. 14 2014 2:37 PM When Abuse Is Not Abuse Don’t expect Adrian Peterson to go to prison. In much of America, beating your kids is perfectly legal. 
Sept. 12 2014 5:54 PM Olive Garden Has Been Committing a Culinary Crime Against Humanity
Inside Higher Ed
Sept. 13 2014 8:38 AM “You’re More Than Just a Number” Goucher College goes transcript-free in admissions.
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 12 2014 4:05 PM Life as an NFL Wife: “He's the Star. Keep Him Happy.”
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Sept. 12 2014 5:55 PM “Do You Know What Porn Is?” Conversations with Dahlia Lithwick’s 11-year-old son.
Sept. 14 2014 11:44 PM A Little Bit Softer Now, a Little Bit Softer Now … The sad, gradual decline of the fade-out in popular music.
Future Tense
Sept. 12 2014 3:53 PM We Need to Pass Legislation on Artificial Intelligence Early and Often
  Health & Science
New Scientist
Sept. 14 2014 8:38 AM Scientific Misconduct Should Be a Crime It’s as bad as fraud or theft, only potentially more dangerous.
Sports Nut
Sept. 12 2014 4:36 PM “There’s No Tolerance for That” Pete Carroll and Jim Harbaugh say they don’t abide domestic abuse. So why do the Seahawks and 49ers have a combined six players accused of violence against women?