Wolf Blitzer, Null Set
The CNN anchor remains the standard reference unit of dullness.
There's something machine-like about Blitzer's choice of words in this interview, his voice on television, his stance, and even his dance. The questioner asks about Blitzer's favorite narrative techniques. "I like to tell the story and get to the point quickly." What are the rules for writing a good headline? "Grab the attention of the readers; make them want to read on." Best advice he's gotten for writing a good headline or tease? "Make them want more."
Blitzer's oddly short answers barely pass the Turing Test, which poses the question CNN should ask its anchor: "Wolf Blitzer, what make and model of robot are you?"
My answer: The De-Energizer Bunny. Derek Thompson almost diagnosed Blitzer's mechanical condition with this afternoon tweet: "Wolf's ability to fill time and, it would seem, space, with a constant stream of monologue is so amazing its nearly a superpower." Send your guess of Blitzer's make and model to email@example.com and judge for yourself whether or not my Twitter feed passes the Turing Test. (Email may be quoted by name in "The Fray," Slate's readers' forum; in a future article; or elsewhere unless the writer stipulates otherwise. Permanent disclosure: Slate is owned by the Washington Post Co.)
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