CNN's pundits make a mad dash to call Cheney vs. Edwards a tie.

At the end of a 15-round match, the last thing a fatigued fight fan wants from the officials is a collective sigh and an educated shrug that the bout was a draw. Fans want and deserve winners, and the officials who refuse to say one guy had an edge over the other guy—however slim—should seek a new line of work.

The same goes for the pundits who go on the air after 90-minute televised political debates. The whole point of a debate—like a prizefight—is for somebody to win, and a pundit who declares a debate a draw is as worthless as the pundit who says "no comment" to a direct question.

And yet, there was CNN's senior political pundit, Jeff Greenfield, playing Hamlet with the results of last night's contest between Dick Cheney and John Edwards when the bell rang.

Wolf Blitzer asks, "Jeff, what do you think?"

Greenfield, as decisive a pundit as they build, filibusters for 200 words with meta-analysis before saying, "The conservatives who were decidedly unhappy with George Bush last week were happier with Dick Cheney tonight. The Democrats, the pro-Kerry people were perfectly happy with John Edwards."

As if suffering from echolalia, Blitzer shoots Greenfield's "analysis" right back at him: "I think it is clear that if you're a Bush/Cheney supporter, you certainly thought Cheney won. If you're a Kerry/Edwards supporter, you thought Edwards won."

Next up to share his opinion is CNN political analyst Carlos Watson, who instantly contracts Blitzer's echolalia: "I think that if you're a Cheney supporter, you were happy; if you're an Edwards supporter, you were happy."

To find somebody to declare a winner, Blitzer has to call the campaigns.

"Do you think this was a pretty evenly divided, evenly matched debate as opposed to the first one where your candidate John Kerry seemingly did a lot better?" Blitzer asks Kerry Campaign Manager Mary Beth Cahill.

"I think that John Edwards came off by far the better," she says, to nobody's surprise. Blitzer promptly balances the equation by collecting Bush Campaign Manager Ken Mehlman's opinion. Need you ask?