Jack Donaghy for President
A Republican businessman wants all candidates to agree to attend a two-day business seminar.
If Mike George gets his way, the next president will give his (or her) victory speech, brush the confetti off his (or her) blazer, and then schedule a couple of days to duck out of the spotlight and take a seminar with some business consultants."From the time they're elected to the time they're inaugurated, they'll commit to a two-day training session on Lean Six Sigma," says George, calling from his office in Texas between meetings.
You have heard of Lean Six Sigma, right? Perhaps you've listened to Jack Welch drone on about the error-eliminating techniques he implemented at GE. Maybe you've seen the episode of 30 Rock in which Jack Donaghy attends a corporate retreat and is briefed on the principles of "brutality" and "handshakefulness" in between team-building exercises.
That's Six Sigma. "Lean" Six Sigma is a slight variation, developed by George and others. When it's implemented, 1 percent of people in an organization go through four weeks of training to become "black belts" who do "nothing but process improvement," according to George. Three percent undergo one week of training and become "green belts," helping out their martial arts betters. The entire organization is schooled on slogans like "variability is the enemy" (or "variation is evil," as Welch likes to say). The inefficient company becomes efficient.
George's purpose is to get the next president to be more like Jack Donaghy. His 501(c)(4), Strong America Now, is omnipresent at Iowa political events, with its red, white, and blue slogan—"No deficit, no new taxes"—splashed on volunteers' T-shirts, hats, and signs. They get in candidates' faces. They tell the candidates that 22,000 Iowans are onboard already. The pitch works. Six of the GOP's presidential candidates, including Iowa frontrunner Michele Bachmann, have signed the pledge. (Tim Pawlenty, who cited Six Sigma in his big economy speech, signed the pledge but is no longer in the race.) They have sworn to attend training sessions and promised to "eliminate spending deficits and start paying down the national debt by 2017" by implementing the plan.
George had been pushing Lean Six Sigma on legislators long before the 2012 primaries started. He can point to the government organizations that have received the gospel: Fort Wayne, Ind., Erie County, N.Y., the U.S. Army.
"But I couldn't get anywhere with congressmen!" George says. "Most of them have no experience working in the private sector. Explaining this stuff to them is like explaining astronomy to a cat." He's tried, and failed, to get Paul Ryan to read his plan.
It sure sounds odd—fixing government with martial arts belts and Jack Welch quotes. Rep. Tom Latham, R-Iowa, introduced legislation that would have made the government implement Lean Six Sigma. It has sat around the Hill with only one co-sponsor. Even Bachmann's Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act did better than that.
But presidential candidates are easier marks. If they're presented with pledges, they're going to think about signing them. If someone hands them an idea, they can say to voters: "Hey. I have an idea you've never heard before. Who else can say that?"
No candidate has adopted the Lean Six Sigma gospel quite like Newt Gingrich, who has yet to meet a complicated, jargon-stuffed plan that he doesn't like. He name-checked the plan in his feisty Ames debate performance. When he got his turn at the Iowa State Fair's soap box, he announced his idea to make Congress scrap the "supercommittee" and become better consultants.
"They ought to come back in Monday," said Gingrich, "and every subcommittee in the House and Senate ought to be assigned the following task. Take every aspect of government your committee is assigned to, bring in experts from business, using Lean Six Sigma, and apply it to rethinking the whole thing. Here's an example. I would take Lean Six Sigma, and I would go through the entire State Department VISA process and redesign it."
David Weigel is a Slate political reporter. You can reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org, or tweet at him @daveweigel.
Photograph of Newt Gingrich by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.