Young conservatives protest the administration's green agenda.

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Lenin
Happy birthday to you

It's Earth Day, and young conservatives have found their own way to celebrate, toting signs, passing out literature, and, yes, singing outside the offices of the Environmental Protection Agency in Washington—all in the pouring rain. "The radical greens selected April 22 because that's Lenin's birthday," explains R.J. Smith of the Competitive Enterprise Institute after the impromptu song.

Indeed, the radical greens have overtaken Washington this week. First they had their day-long celebration on the Mall Sunday, featuring the Flaming Lips. Then there's the 54 witnesses testifying before the House energy and commerce committee on behalf of climate change legislation. Meanwhile, independent groups are flooding Capitol Hill and blanketing the airwaves. Not to mention free cone day at Ben & Jerry's.

This particular group—a dozen or so young people organized by the Young Conservatives Coalition—isn't exactly protesting Earth Day itself. Nor are they anti-environment: They consider themselves environmentalists, too, just without the Birkenstocks or hemp necklaces or good music. "I've been a bird-watcher and a nature nut my whole life," says Smith. "Some of my best friends were hard-core greens."

What they oppose is Obama's environmental tool kit. Instead of regulation-based solutions like cap-and-trade or government-subsidized wind farms or public conservation, they support "market-based environmentalism." If that sounds like an oxymoron, they say, think again.

The best solutions to environmental problems are private, says Smith, sporting a yellow raincoat. What's the best way to preserve unspoiled nature? Ever since John James Audubon started buying up huge tracts of land at the turn of the 20^th century, private sanctuaries have been superior to government parks, which get bloated by perverse incentives. Many public parks get funding based on attendance, Smith says, which pushes them to maximize user days. Meanwhile, he points out, attendance at the Audubon Society's Rainey Wildlife Sanctuary in coastal Louisiana is highly restricted.

Finding a private solution to climate change is trickier, which is why the conservative reaction to claims of global warming ranges from silence to skepticism, without many constructive alternatives. The goal of Wednesday's protest seemed to be just that—to present market-based alternatives—but few materialized.

Critiques of government-sponsored environmentalism abound. The problem with government solutions, says Andrew Langer of the Institute for Liberty, who also spoke, is that they don't honestly weigh the risks. When it comes to cap-and-trade, he says, the conversation currently focuses on the reduction of pollutants but doesn't deal with the rise in energy costs. For example, if your heating bill is low, you might save enough money to buy a hybrid car. "Protecting the environment is important," he says. "But you have to do it smartly."

Then there's simple overreach, Langer says. Take carbon dioxide regulation. Once you start capping CO₂ emissions, a bunch of unexpected emitters would suddenly fall under the regulatory umbrella. "They would treat a power plant and a pizza place the same," he says.

Unfortunately, saying no to cap-and-trade and CO₂ regulation does not a market-based solution make. Maybe the energy sector needs its own John James Audubon—T. Boone Pickens is certainly in the running. But it's unclear that enough Audubons would emerge to solve the problem.