Your Dreams (and Nightmares) About Sarah Palin
She hands you a $20 bill. She marries you. She tells you to kill all the animals in the zoo. She's your barista.
Posted Friday, Sept. 12, 2008, at 10:53 AM
This week, we asked Slate readers to e-mail us with their Sarah Palin dreams. So far, you've sent us nearly 500 of them. Many of you were appalled that Slate would undertake such a frivolous (according to liberals) or insulting (according to conservatives) project (click
It's hard to generalize about such a large group of dreams, but there were a few persistent themes: Palin as a gun-toting animal killer, pregnancies and denied abortions, baby Trig, and the landscape of Alaska. Many of you reported dreaming about John McCain dying and Palin taking over the Oval Office. Both men and straight women reported sexual fantasies involving the Alaska governor.
Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, and Independents all wrote to us, though judging by the content of the dreams, we heard disproportionately from Palin foes. This may indicate that Slate'sreadership skews Democratic, or it may signify something else: According to Kelly Bulkeley, author of American Dreamers: What Dreams Tell Us About the Political Psychology of Conservatives, Liberals, and Everyone Else, "conservatives tend to recall fewer dreams, and they take less interest in the subject than do liberals." Even so, not everyone is partisan in their dreams. Democrats had dreams in which Palin helped them with a personal problem or gave them money, and Republicans had nightmares in which Palin brought about World War III. The dreams weren't all about politics, either. Palin appeared sticking her finger in Indian pudding, washing dishes at a Jewish summer camp, and making a hotel bed in Las Vegas.
We've compiled 20 of most compelling dreams below. What do they mean? We don't pretend to know.
"All the animals from the local zoo had been transferred to my house for some reason. Sarah Palin gave me a handgun and told me I had to kill them all. I love animals, and I didn't want to do it, but I was afraid she'd kill me if I didn't comply. I started with lions and bears, but my gun ran out of bullets. I tried to free the owls since they could probably make it to safety before Sarah returned to see if all the animals were dead. She returned, and I just had my empty gun, so I was afraid of what she might do to me, but then fortunately I woke up."—Nadine F.
"I'm on a small town main street. There is no one there. I start walking, and then suddenly Sarah Palin starts walking toward me. She comes up to me and says, 'It's okay. Ignorance is a pretty good excuse.' Then she hands me a twenty."—Josh Cole
"I dreamt that two of my girlfriends from work had a combo wedding to save on costs, and I decided to crash, wearing my old wedding dress as well. The more brides, the better. So as the other two brides took me out in the parking lot to scold me for taking away from their special day, Sarah Palin screeched up next to us in a black BMW X5, the luxury SUV for mommies. She and I are apparently good pals because she leaned out the window and told me to cut the drama with my friends and she'd take me out for some fast food. A sucker for fast food and high-profile friends (both of which I dream a lot about), I hopped in the car with Sarah and took off."—Kimberly Holland
"In the dream I am in the television series Sex and the City. I am there, but not really present, more of an onlooker of the scene. Carrie and Miranda are chatting on a random sidewalk, I think in D.C., when down the street Sarah Palin is seen walking toward them with some sort of entourage, one of them holding an umbrella over her head. She is wearing a red wraparound skirt and everyone else around her is wearing dark suits. As she comes nearer, it appears the group is part of some kind of tour. The group pauses, at which point Carrie and Miranda look on, confused as to what the group is doing. All of the sudden, Sarah Palin lifts her skirt to blow her nose on it, revealing red bloomers. No one in the group seems to notice, or care, but Carrie and Miranda proceed to shriek in horror and disbelief ... and then I woke up."—Tiffany Urban
"Sarah Palin's standing over me (I'm naked, she's not) and shouting, podium style, through a pair of great, floating glasses, 'And you know what? I'm going to cut it off. I'm gonna CUT IT OFF.' I hear cheers. Are we onstage? I don't see it, but I feel the presence of TV camera everywhere. She continues, 'And you know why? Because, well why shouldn't I? If you're good, I know God will put it back.' I look down and realize I have the biggest pot plant ever growing up between my legs. I mean, the thing is beautiful. I think something happens next, but I can't remember what. All I know is we are in a field, and Sarah Palin is kneeling over me decked out in hunter gear. She cradles her rifle pragmatically and smiles pathetically as if to say, 'You silly bear,' and ruffles my stomach. The plant is gone, but I am now covered in fur. And blood. And bits of grass. And as much as I want to bite her face off, I can't be angry at her. Or rather, I can't argue it. I've got nothing. And she knows it too. Her triumphalism is effortless."—Joshua Mensch
David Plotz is the Editor of Slate. He's the author of The Genius Factory: The Curious History of the Nobel Prize Sperm Bank and Good Book. He appears on Slate's Political Gabfest.
Photograph of Sarah Palin by Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images.