Remembering baseball great Kirby Puckett.

Bringing out the dead.
March 8 2006 2:07 PM

Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner

Remembering Kirby Puckett.

The late Kirby Puckett. 
Click image to expand.
The late Kirby Puckett

In 1991—the year Kirby Puckett and the Minnesota Twins won the greatest World Series I've ever seen—I was short, fat, and hitting ninth for my Pony League team. I spent my time creatively calculating my batting average to keep it above the Mendoza line and imagining the fantasy world where I made the majors. Puckett, who looked like a fire hydrant, was the only real ballplayer who lived in that world with me.

Like me, Puckett stood 5-feet-8 and told people he weighed 210 pounds, but that was only one aspect of his appeal. Plenty of players in that era didn't look the part. Bob Hamelin, for instance, resembled my Uncle Larry, and he was Rookie of the Year in 1994. The difference was that Puckett played baseball as if he inhabited Eric Davis' perfect body. Maybe high-achieving slobs like Hamelin were an inspiration to the physically mediocre, but Puckett was a miracle, and a miracle was what Pony League bench warmers were looking for.


Churning his Toulouse-Lautrec legs, Puckett could steal bases and leg out triples. He leapt tall outfield fences and took away home runs like Torii Hunter, the Twins current centerfielder, who is six inches taller but five pounds lighter than Puckett was. With his alligator arm, Puckett recorded a staggering 19 assists in 1985.

He could hit, too—for average and for power. He led the league in hits four times, and after collecting a grand total of four home runs in his first two seasons, he averaged more than 20 a year for the next decade. (One advantage of being shaped like a tree stump is that no one suspects steroids when your power numbers jump suddenly.)

When Puckett died Monday after suffering a stroke, the obituary writers emphasized the jolly demeanor that went along with his Santa Claus appearance. They remembered Puckett for the joy he brought to the game, and it's true; it was obvious how much he loved baseball and enjoyed playing it. From the end of the Pony League bench, we loved him for this, too, because he seemed to know how lucky he was. Still, Puckett wasn't just a smiling doofus. He'd rip your heart out for a single, and it was the combination that made him irresistible.

Compare Puckett and his two World Series-winning Minnesota teams to Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire's Oakland A's of the same era. McGwire had the size and aspect of the jerk who stuffed you in a locker after gym class. Canseco, the most talented baseball player on the planet, didn't care about anything. They played in three World Series in a row and inexcusably lost two of them.

The Twins were more likable and more interesting. Starring Puckett and the good-but-not-great trio of Tom Brunansky, Gary Gaetti, and Kent Hrbek, Minnesota went from first (1987) to last (1990) and back to first (1991). The 1991 World Series against the Atlanta Braves was the most thrilling sporting event of my childhood. It went seven games, five of which were decided by one run and three of which went into extra innings. In Game 6, Puckett made a circus catch to kill a Braves rally and homered to end the game in the 11th inning. But following that triumph, Puckett's story became a series of increasingly depressing episodes.

By 1996, when Puckett woke up one morning toward the end of spring training and couldn't see, Minnesota was no longer a contending team. He was diagnosed with glaucoma, and he retired that summer after undergoing a few unsuccessful surgeries. It was sad, because apart from his eyesight he still had a few good years left, but it wasn't tragic. Puckett wasn't Tony Conigliaro, who was only 22 when he got beaned in the face in 1967. He'd had a great career, a Hall of Fame career, and he made the right decision to retire.

At his Hall of Fame induction ceremony in 2001, Puckett's fans noticed two things. On the one hand, he stole the show and channeled the classy Lou Gehrig when he said, "It may be cloudy in my right eye, but the sun is shining in my left." On the other hand, he'd gained about a hundred pounds and looked like crap. Maybe he didn't know how to live without baseball after all.

Then, in 2003, Sports Illustrated published Frank Deford's devastating cover article, "The Rise and Fall of Kirby Puckett," which revealed that—far from being the poster man-child of pure baseball joy—Puckett was an adulterer, a harasser, and an abuser. His wife had made horrible public accusations while divorcing him, one of his girlfriends took out a restraining order against him, and a woman he allegedly groped in a restaurant bathroom filed charges against him (he was acquitted).



More Than Scottish Pride

Scotland’s referendum isn’t about nationalism. It’s about a system that failed, and a new generation looking to take a chance on itself. 

What Charles Barkley Gets Wrong About Corporal Punishment and Black Culture

Why Greenland’s “Dark Snow” Should Worry You

If You’re Outraged by the NFL, Follow This Satirical Blowhard on Twitter

The Best Way to Organize Your Fridge


The GOP’s Focus on Fake Problems

Why candidates like Scott Walker are building campaigns on drug tests for the poor and voter ID laws.

Sports Nut

Giving Up on Goodell

How the NFL lost the trust of its most loyal reporters.

Is It Worth Paying Full Price for the iPhone 6 to Keep Your Unlimited Data Plan? We Crunch the Numbers.

Farewell! Emily Bazelon on What She Will Miss About Slate.

  News & Politics
Sept. 16 2014 7:03 PM Kansas Secretary of State Loses Battle to Protect Senator From Tough Race
Sept. 16 2014 4:16 PM The iPhone 6 Marks a Fresh Chance for Wireless Carriers to Kill Your Unlimited Data
The Eye
Sept. 16 2014 12:20 PM These Outdoor Cat Shelters Have More Style Than the Average Home
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 15 2014 3:31 PM My Year As an Abortion Doula
  Slate Plus
Slate Plus Video
Sept. 16 2014 2:06 PM A Farewell From Emily Bazelon The former senior editor talks about her very first Slate pitch and says goodbye to the magazine.
Brow Beat
Sept. 16 2014 8:43 PM This 17-Minute Tribute to David Fincher Is the Perfect Preparation for Gone Girl
Future Tense
Sept. 16 2014 6:40 PM This iPhone 6 Feature Will Change Weather Forecasting
  Health & Science
Sept. 16 2014 4:09 PM It’s All Connected What links creativity, conspiracy theories, and delusions? A phenomenon called apophenia.
Sports Nut
Sept. 15 2014 9:05 PM Giving Up on Goodell How the NFL lost the trust of its most loyal reporters.