Monday in Tokyo, Tomonori Ikeda, a 30-year-old clerk, looked out his office window on Shinjuku-dori Avenue, not far from the Imperial Palace, and saw a man covered with blood running and using a cell phone. What had just happened?
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Monday's Question (No. 463)—"TK Day":
Recently G.W. Bush signed a proclamation making June 10 a special day named for a particular person, and not everyone is pleased. "They carefully worded this thing to make it look like they've just got a good guy here, and so the state of Texas can have a party for him," said an irate Professor Bruce Lincoln of the University of Chicago. What's the name of this special day, and how does G.W. suggest we observe it?
"Dick Cheney-a-palooza. 'Actually,' W. told the press, 'it was Dick's idea. We asked him to draw up a list of Texas heroes, and—who knew?—Dick wound up at the No. 1 spot.' To mark the special day, Texans were encouraged to slap a welfare recipient."—Tim Carvell
"Gerald Ford Day, on which we should abstain from golfing in favor of having strokes and tongue infections."—Charlie Glassenberg
"For your Phil Gramm moment of silence, you absolve yourself of the overbearing hand of government. Then you can go back to leaving your Medicare and Social Security beneficiary mother to drive to work at the federally subsidized farm on the interstate to pay the tuition for your son at the University of Texas."—Anthony Wright
"Karla Faye Tucker Day. Pump a friend full of electricity today! Who knows? You might just create a superhero!"—Alex Pascover (Tim Carvell and Mary Anne Townsend had similar answers.)
"Mr. Lincoln should just learn to accept a compliment, and enjoy Bruce Lincoln Day with the rest of us."—Richard Nikonovich-Kahn (similarly, Jon Drumwright and Barry Johnson)
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