A new government document lists 16 criteria, including "Unusual nervousness," "Suspicious bulge/object," and "Changing direction." Criteria for what?
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Monday's Question (No. 457)—"Hair Force":
Clairol and Britney Spears are teaming up to do something. What?
"Drive my kid sister a little further down the road toward an adulthood of depression, alcoholism, and three-times-a-week therapy. (Although I don't have a kid sister. But I think you get the idea.)"—Matt Heimer (Tim Carvell, Sara Weisensel, and Noah Meyerson had similar answers.)
"Promote a new breast-enlarging shampoo."—Brita J. McNay (similarly, Matt Heimer and John Tyrrell)
"Put a stop to split ends and the Russian mob once and for all."—TG Gibbon (similarly, Tim Carvell and Jon Zerolnick)
"Porn. Lots and lots of porn ... oh, with nice, shiny hair."—Gus Robertson
"Stepping in where others have failed, the duo will craft a fair and equitable treaty for peace in the Middle East. (Actually, Britney will be doing most of the work, but Clairol, as the sponsor, will get to have its name on it.)"—Tim Carvell
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