In this klassic komedy multiple-choice question, you provide the "c," just like a pro.
Addressing the Supreme Court Wednesday, Solicitor General Seth Waxman said, "[It] has proven workable, and its benefits to the administration of justice have been repeatedly emphasized by this court."
a) A little catnap while some gasbag lawyer is yakking away.
b) The swift execution of inmates who get "too sassy."
c) _____________ .
Send your answer by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Wednesday's Question (No. 419)—"Religious Rush":
As a holy week begins for various faiths, many young people have taken up a fad that offends some clergy ("When it becomes this commercial, it loses its true symbolism.") but delights others ("We are quietly encouraging it."). What is this fad?
"Chocolate Easter Jesuses."—Francis Heaney (John Tyrrell had a similar answer.)
"The stock ticker streaming across the crucifix."—Andrew Puzzio
"Whipping pet rocks and hula hoops at those with opposing religious views."—Danny Spiegel
"This year, 'Cattle Disease' is brought to you by Archer Daniels Midland, supermarket to the world."—Jon "Trolling for Chametz" Zerolnick
Click for more answers.
"Too commercial" is an odd complaint in as enthusiastically acquisitive a culture as ours, where even for non-believers driving a Lexus is an outward sign of inner grace. It is a curiously enduring myth that the spiritual and the material are battling for the American soul. Face it: The spiritual capitulated long ago. For instance, while one hears seasonal complaints of religious life polluted by commercialism, one never hears the opposite gripe: that our business culture is tainted by an excess of spiritual enthusiasm—expansion plans that sacrifice profits to help the poor; the diurnal concerns of sales drives undermined when the staff turns its attention to the contemplation of things eternal. The spiritual has long been vanquished in every way that matters to the real business of daily life, the kind covered on CNNfn. The pretense of an ongoing struggle is the kind of face-saving that conquerors can afford to offer the utterly defeated, the way a big, tough guy playfully pretends to be scared of a little skinny guy. And in return, every successful religion plays its part by quietly reinforcing the status quo: Work hard, pray hard—U.S.A. all the way.
It's Not Just a Hat, It's an Adventure Answer
Orthodox Jewish boys at New York yeshivas are sporting licensed-product kipa—skullcaps—in an array of secular styles: sports logos, cartoon characters, and slogans. "I have more yarmulkes than socks," one seventh-grader told the Times. Another, Samuel Goldberg, has 51 yarmulkes.
The Knicks, Cookie Monster, Power Rangers, Pokémon, the Nike swoosh, a slice of watermelon, a basketball, and the phrase "I drank 12 beers last night" are happening fashions. It "takes something that has a religious aspect and makes it fun," says Dale Goldberg, Samuel's mother. "Like a bris on a roller coaster," she did not add.
Rabbi Andrew Bachman of New York University's Bronfman Center is less sanguine, but does report that "rasta," "hip-hop" and "neo-Hasidic hippie" kipa have been seen on campus.
Even in Thursday's rare four-supplement edition of the New York Times, no ad-generating section was more ad-generational than "Museums." Which of the following are actual photo captions from the "special section," and which are just the work of some Philistine wringing cheap laughs out of a nation's highest cultural aspirations and dinosaur gift shops?
- A glossy cafe and bistro-style restaurant are destinations.
- "Star Wars: The Magic of Myth" is expected to attract between 85,000 and 100,000 visitors.
- "Three Stooges Movies and Nickel Beer Night" is expected to attract between 1 billion and some even bigger number of visitors.
- Do you come here often? Would you like to have sexual intercourse?
- Mom, I'm bored. Mommmmmmm.
- I think that security guard has doz… Oh my God! He's dead!
- For gallery-weary youngsters there is a place to let loose.
- Mommy, I see that man's penis. No, the man next to the statue.
- Celebrities' dresses command top prices at auction houses like Sotheby's.
- Celebrities command top prices from billionaires like Ron Perelman.
1, 2, 7, and 9 have been authenticated by trusted experts from Sotheby's.
Piercings and the prophet Elijah. Draw your own conclusions; design your own jewelry.