No. 388: "Wedded Blitz"

No. 388: "Wedded Blitz"

No. 388: "Wedded Blitz"

Testing your knowledge of what happened this week
Feb. 22 2000 3:30 AM

No. 388: "Wedded Blitz"

Fox has just canceled Tuesday night's planned rerun of Who Wants To Marry a Multi-Millionaire? Why? 



Send your answer by noon ET Wednesday to

Thursday's Question (No. 387) "A and Q—Mutual Life":

The answer, from President Clinton at Wednesday's press conference, began: "Well, I'm basically doing for her what she's always done for me." What was the question?


  "Mr. President, why are you dying your hair blond?"—Rich Rifkin

"Mr. President, why are you smiling beatifically as you are stripped of your dignity by being forced to play at a sham marriage?"—Ben Heller

"Mr. President, why is Jackie Judd roasting on a spit in the Rose Garden?"—Greg Diamond

"Good Lord, I hope it doesn't have anything to do with the cat."—Carl Dietrich


"Get off the man's back! Who hasn't given Donna Shalala a foot rub?"—Michael Manella

Click for more answers.

Randy's Wrap-Up

If the president is, as reported, contemplating his legacy (and, by the way, for you younger players, when your folks pound on the bathroom door, demanding, "What are you doing in there for so long?" the presidential reply is, "Contemplating my legacy"), the lesson he might draw from News Quiz is not a happy one. To participants, his name invokes few of his actual policy decisions—lukewarm support for gay rights, enthusiasm for the death penalty, an all-talk-no-action policy on racial justice, endorsement of the Defense of Marriage Act, or the failure to act on the carnage in Rwanda or Sierra Leone. Rather, his name is inexorably linked to tawdry sexual high jinks. This may be why a survey of 58 historians ranked President Clinton 21st overall among American presidents, but dead last—one step below Richard Nixon—for "moral authority." Still, it does make me eager to visit some future Clinton presidential library, particularly if the lines aren't too long for the rides.


Reciprocal Answer

Q: (re Hillary's Senate race) Can you address why you think your wife is having some trouble connecting with women voters in particular? What advice, if any, you're offering her to help her better connect? And are you playing the role of a senior strategist in her campaign?

A: Well, I'm basically doing for her what she's always done for me. You know, I'm talking to her about whatever she wants to talk about; I'm giving her my best ideas. I thought she had a wonderful announcement. I was really proud of her.

Eros-Bush Extra

The impending Michigan primary seems unaffected by the NEAR spacecraft's rendezvous with an asteroid called Eros, but in a race this close, even small chunks of lifeless rock can make a difference. (Insert Alan Keyes joke here.) And, judging by the data that NEAR is sending back, Eros is not entirely unlike the Republican front-runner.


Eros: weak gravitational field
G.W.: weak grasp of English syntax

Eros: battered by many ancient collisions
G.W.: protected by rich parents from any unpleasantness

Eros: a moonlike gray color with a yellowish tint
G.W.: same way, after weekly malt liquor and cleaning fluid binge

Eros: could crash into the Earth, endangering human survival
G.W.: could become U.S. president, also endangering human survival

Eros: appears to be composed of dense material
G.W.: appears to be dense

Eros: geologists say part of Eros once may have melted
G.W.: frat buddies say G.W. once may have vomited into his own hat

Eros: expert says, "Much more exciting and geologically diverse than we had expected"
G.W.: I say, "Smirking rich boy in the pocket of any corporation who writes him a check"

Fred Gormley's Fun With Syntax Extra

Not relevant to this particular quiz, but FYI, from "Raw News" ( headline: "Coke Board Names Daft Chairman."

You'd think after all they've been through …

Fun With Philosophy Extra

Best phrase used in a question following Peter Singer's talk at the New York Institute of Humanities: "One other difference between chickens and Jews …"

Scheduling Note

No quiz Tuesday. Backbiting resumes Wednesday. Second anniversary party commences Monday the 28th. Remorse commences Tuesday the 29th.

Common Denominator

Sexual shenanigans.