News Quiz

No. 386: “Ain’t She Sweet!’

“She’s perfection for the standard. She lives up to what the standard says. You saw her line and her energy. That was it. She just kept moving. She wanted. And she got it.” Who is praising whom for getting what?

Send your answer by noon ET Thursday to newsquiz@slate.com.

Tuesday’s Question (No. 385)—”Carolina Moon”:

Promoting a plan of his own, Gov. Jim Hodges declared, “We want to send a signal to the nation, and to our children, that South Carolinians can come together to do the right thing.” What thing does he want them to do?

“Remove the Confederate flag from the top of the capitol building and replace it with an eternal burning cross ‘war memorial’ on the front lawn.”—Dave Lord (Tim Carvell had a similar answer, but with a swastika.)

“Mount a massive letter-writing campaign to get the Confederate flag mentioned in the ‘Stuff We Like’ department of Brill’s Content.”—Gary Drevitch

“Pray fervently to God to divert all future tornadoes to Georgia. ‘See, it worked,’ Hodges crowed Tuesday.”—Matt Heimer

“I have to agree with Dr. Ruth on this one. Coming together is nice when it’s a happy accident, but it shouldn’t be a goal in itself.”—Daniel Radosh (similarly, Chris Troutt and Dawn Shurmaitis)

“I don’t know about Gov. Hodges’ plan, but South Carolina wouldn’t have any of these problems if Strom Thurmond were still alive.”—William Vehrs

Click for more answers.

Randy’s Wrap-Up

Carolina Rabbi—that’s the TV series I’d be pitching to ABC if they were up on all of this week’s quiz questions and weren’t so absorbed in that Millionaire stuff, and if all their development people were replaced by talking dogs. Because that would be fun: pitching a TV show to a dog. Who wouldn’t want to do that? And the dog would like it, because I bring to the project a unique blend of the Jewish and the Carolinian. I was born in Charleston, and even after my family moved up north, we continued to spend our summers down south with the cousins. But because Southern life was so different than what I was used to, and because my Orthodox cousins were so unlike the Jews I knew (we were in the Suburban Reform wing), I couldn’t sort out what was Southern and what was Jewish. Gumbo and kreplach; tefilin and easily available fireworks—it was all part of a rich mélange of summer fun utterly unlike my life in Pennsylvania. I’ll bet the dog in development would love this idea. Here’s what the dog would say: “I love this idea. But do you think, instead of the Rabbi, it could be a bunch of 15-year-old Protestant girls?” And I’d say: “Yes it could! May I have an enormous amount of money now, please?” And then I’d invite that dog out for grits, which we wouldn’t eat until we’d said a nice Boruchah.

Henry Clay Answer

In what supporters call a “compromise,” Gov. Hodges wants to remove the Confederate flag from atop the capitol and instead fly it near the capitol. Progress, Southern-style.

The governor suggests using a square, historically accurate version of the battle flag, rather than the current style, commonly displayed as a decal on the rear window of a pickup truck. It would fly near a statue of Confederate Gen. Wade Hampton, a former governor of the state, just a few yards from the swastika that honors German heritage but in no way connotes anti-Semitism, what with it not actually being there.

(Full disclosure: I was born in South Carolina, and I’m typing naked. Right now. This very sentence. And this one.—Ed.)

And While We’re in the Neighborhood Extra

Recently, G.W. was criticized (and Alan Keyes was ignored) for speaking at South Carolina’s Bob Jones University, a Christian college that forbids interracial dating and that lacks the dignity even to call itself Robert Jones University. G.W. said, characteristically, that this didn’t mean he endorsed BJU’s racist policies; he’d rather leave that to the people of South Carolina, or something like that. Unprincipled pandering for votes, or odious racism? To help you decide, below find some highlights from the BJU Web site.

  • “The University is very selective in who they ask to speak. They must be men of impeccable character and integrity. They also must be men not loved by the national media. If the media likes a candidate then all decent people should not vote for that candidate.”—Dr. Bob Jones III, introducing Alan Keyes.

  • “Looking for the perfect place to take your date—and your chaperon? Swensen’s Gazebo, at 2025 Wade Hampton Boulevard, provides a cozy atmosphere and a reasonably priced menu for the three of you.”—from a restaurant review in the student magazine.

  • “He was already engaged when he met his future wife. Dr. Guenter Salter, dean emeritus of the College of Arts and Science, saw Miss Johanna Kilgus singing in the church choir on his first Sunday in America. ‘My first thought when I saw her,’ he said, ‘was that maybe I shouldn’t be engaged.’ However, Dr. Salter’s fiancee broke off the engagement. Dr. Salter and Miss Kilgus started spending time together. ‘We didn’t become serious until Christmas,’ Dr. Salter said. ‘We were part of a Christmas play at church. Just before we went on stage, she leaned over and kissed (me). That was our first kiss.’ He added, ‘It was very innocent. It was Christmas, for goodness’ sake.’ The relationship moved slowly while Miss Kilgus was in school. But when she came home for the summer, ‘the embers burst into flame,’ he said. In July Dr. Salter proposed after an evening of church activities. When Dr. Salter took her home, he said, ‘Honey, I’ve got something here for you in my pocket.’ “—from “Dr. Salter in Love,” also in the student magazine.

Skott Klebe’s IKEA Instructions Follow-Up

IKEA sent technical writers to LEGO to learn how to write (or draw) complex instructions that don’t need to be translated into dozens of different languages. And I hear that LEGO employs special LEGO experts to make those mind-boggling displays that so intimidated me when I was a kid. To be one, they first make you build a sphere out of LEGOs; then you have to turn the sphere into the recognizable face of a celebrity.

With LEGOs all I could build was a house, with IKEA I can build a complex entertainment center with working doors.

Common Denominator

Spike Lee.

Festive Extra

Participants are invited to join us for the News Quiz second anniversary party, Monday, Feb. 28, from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., in the prestigious back room of Cucina Della Fontana, Bleecker and Charles streets, New York.

As is customary, this event is BYOE, bring your own everything—food, drink, health insurance. (Not so much bring as “buy.”)