No. 366: "From Marathon to Waterloo in Order Categorical"

No. 366: "From Marathon to Waterloo in Order Categorical"

No. 366: "From Marathon to Waterloo in Order Categorical"

Testing your knowledge of what happened this week
Jan. 13 2000 3:30 AM

No. 366: "From Marathon to Waterloo in Order Categorical"

In a London libel trial, historian David Irving is suing historian Deborah Lipstadt, who wrote that Irving "bends" history "until it conforms with his ideological leanings and political agenda." Specifically, what historical lie has she accused him of telling?

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Send your answer by noon ET Thursday to newsquiz@slate.com.

Tuesday's Question (No. 365)--"Urge To Merge":

Fill in the blank as America Online CEO Steve Case evaluates the Time Warner properties he's just acquired: "Traditional media assets have a vibrant future if they can ________________."

"Follow orders."—Daniel Radosh (Jon Delfin had a similar answer.)

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"Be made compatible with Playstation."—David Ballard

"Claim to be in the best interests of Elián González."—Chip Roush

"Refrain from hiring Tina Brown."—Herb Terns

"—ah, who am I kidding?"—Greg Diamond

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Click for more answers.

Randy's Wrap-Up

Judging by participant responses, the one unambiguous advantage new media have over old is the ability to deliver a copious flow of pornography right to your own home. In my day, if you wanted to view pornography, you needed an expensive pornograph. Big walnut cabinet. Took up half the living room. After dinner, the whole family would gather 'round the thing, even Grammy Cohen who was a little hard of hearing and often had to ask "What? What'd she say?" "Do me, big boy," one of us grandkids would patiently explain, and then we'd wheel her out into the driveway where she couldn't annoy everyone. But now with transistors and all, Grammy's had that shock thing installed in her skull and is ever so much quieter, and pornography is small enough to fit in your pocket, much the best place for it, and cheap enough to be enjoyed by all. Gone are the days when you had to be John D. Rockefeller with your own private donkey and your own private Gloria Swanson. The only part I don't understand is why they're so determined to put this sort of thing in the schools. Seems perverse. But I'm an old man with a bad case of flu, so what the hell do I know.

Bestriding the Online and Media Worlds Like a Colossus Answer

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"Traditional media assets have a vibrant future if they can be catapulted into the Internet age."

"We don't want AOL to be a place people go through to get to someplace else." Case said. "Like this apartment I shared with these guys in college, and you had to, like, go through my room to get to the bathroom—bummer. That's what I don't want AOL to be like," he did not add.

"We want to be able to create an integrated consumer space. That's why, ultimately, the ownership of media brands will be important," he actually did add. No kidding—"integrated consumer space." Geeze. Talk regular.

Baboon Bandstand Extra

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Speaking at a Reform Party fund-raiser in Brooklyn Park, Minn., Friday, Donald Trump assessed some people, places, and things. Can you mix and match his genuine evaluations?

Person, Place, Thing

1. Republican candidates

2. Candidates proud of their humble origins

3. Castro

4. Japan

5. Russia

6. Books

7. Argon

8. Neptune

9. Entropy

10. Fat-faced, know-nothing real-estate developers

Trumpian Assessment

A. Are these people stiffs or what?

B. They're losers. Who the hell wants to have a person like this for president?

C. A bad guy.

D. Ripping us off for 25 years.

E. Totally mixed up, and they have missiles; run by people nobody ever heard of, run by some very bad people.

F. What losers read.

G. A loser element nobody even heard of.

H. A loser planet. If they had guys there, they'd be bad. And stiffs. Bad loser stiffs.

I. Loser force of nature that's been ripping us off since the creation of the universe. I'd personally negotiate with it and get our energy back.

J. Philosopher-kings and catnip to the ladies.

Genuine Matches

1-A, 2-B, 3-C, 4-D, and 5-E are authentic Trump views, to the extent that he can be said to have an authentic view of anything. I'm no philosopher; I'm just a guy with the flu.

Common Denominator

Online is porn-line.