While introducing President Clinton at a Beverly Hills dinner Tuesday, Whoopi Goldberg recalled a disturbing question one of her granddaughters recently asked. "This was kind of chilling, because it wasn't even like I could say, 'No, no, it's not going to happen.' " What was the question?
Send your answer by noon ET Thursday to email@example.com.
Tuesday's Question (No. 345)--"Riotous Assembly With Cheese":
Cheering demonstrators gathered outside a Seattle McDonald's Monday. Why?
"They discovered that two buns and a piece of string make an excellent gas mask."--Charlie Glassenberg (Sean Fitzpatrick and Barb Leyne had similar answers.)
"Mayor McCheese recanted his support for NAFTA."--Steve Bodow (similarly, Tom Reynolds and Marc Germain)
"In defiance of the Justice Department, debut of Windows 2000 Happy Meals."--John Leary
"I throw rocks through the window of a different McDonald's every week. Nobody comes to cheer me."--Dave Gaffen
Click for more answers.
Randy's Tech Talk and Apology in Lieu of Actual Wrap-Up
Many News Quiz responses were rejected by Slate's e-mail server. Sorry about the frustration and hassle and, though it is in no way connected with Slate or its parent company, the outcome of yesterday's voting in the Kuwaiti parliament.
Demonstrators at a McDonald's, five blocks from the convention hall where the World Trade Organization meeting was scheduled, denounced bioengineered food. The crowd cheered farmer José Bové who earlier in the year drove his tractor through a McD in his native France. "We don't want to eat any more of that kind of food," he declared. "Except for the fries, which are actually pretty good," he did not add.
The protests forced the postponement of the opening ceremony as thousands of people castigated the WTO for being, in the words of the New York Times, "a handmaiden of corporate interests whose rulings undermine health, labor and environmental protections around the world."
Seattle's Mayor Paul Schell declared a state of emergency, put the city under a curfew, and called in the National Guard. A small group of masked protesters did damage property, but the vast majority of the demonstrators were peaceful. Police in riot gear responded with what the Times called "tear gas, pepper spray and rubber pellets."
"Rubber pellets"--are they anything like rubber bullets?
Ann Gavaghan's World of McDonald's Rioting Extra:
We experienced riots in McDonald's here in Taipei, Taiwan (the land the United Nations forgot), earlier this year when Hello Kitty collectible toys were made available to the public. Young women (who are, for some reason they are unable to articulate, the primary consumers of Hello Kitty products) would line up around the block in order to get their hands on the dolls. I, however, am partial to Hello Kitty's rival, the penguin Bad Badtz-maru, who wants to be boss of everything.
New Age vs. Age Old Extra
Below, uses for various herbs in a pamphlet touting the Woman's Book of Healing Herbs (WBHH) and in Joy of Cooking (JoC). Mellowed out and natural, or thick and creamy--you must choose. Whose house would you rather be invited to? Which book would make the better holiday gift? (Cool mumbo jumbo courtesy of Dawn Aberg.)
WBHH: Wards off bacterial infection.
JoC: One teaspoon in Pfeffernusse recipe. Fun to eat, fun to say, fun to rub on whatever part of you is infected.
WBHH: "Reduces or eliminates night sweats."
JoC: "The best known and loved of all American seasonings for … pork and sausages, and for duck, goose and rabbit." Mmmm: nice heavy meal and then a nice sweaty nap.
WBHH: Relives gas and may even boost mental alertness.
JoC: Used in mint sauce, "the usual accompaniment to roast lamb." If only the lamb had been a little more mentally alert, of course, all this unpleasantness could have been avoided.
WBHH: Good medicine if you're bothered by athlete's foot.
JoC: Somehow, I've lost the will to discuss baked ham.
WBHH: "saved my family's vacation."
JoC: Not mentioned, but ask yourself this, is a family vacation really something you want to save?
WBHH: "Herbal all-star for motion sickness or nausea."
JoC: Ingredient in a Parkin, "a not-too-sweet Guy Fawkes Day cake." I'm damn well not inviting someone to my Guy Fawkes Day party who's just going to vomit all over everything.
WBHH: "See why it's earned a reputation for making black and blue marks disappear."
JoC: What the hell is going on over there? Should someone call the cops? Now I can't even think about my fish sauce.
Ongoing Autobio Extra
Participants are still invited to submit the title of a much needed but as yet unwritten autobiography of any national political figure lacking this essential election-year tool. Answers to run Thursday.
Our inadequate e-mail provider did not pass along enough responses to allow for our usual scientific survey. (Curiously, it did forward several promising invitations to make big money at home with hot teen sluts.)