No. 343: "You Be the Editor"

No. 343: "You Be the Editor"

No. 343: "You Be the Editor"

Testing your knowledge of what happened this week
Nov. 25 1999 3:30 AM

No. 343: "You Be the Editor"

You are making up the front page of the Kuwait Times (online edition) for today, Wednesday, Nov. 24. What is the headline for your lead story?

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Send your answer by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to newsquiz@slate.com.

Tuesday's Question (No. 342)--"A and Q":

The answer, from G.W. Bush, responding to Tim Russert on Meet the Press: "I really don't. I will if I'm the president." What is the question? 

"On execution night, do you ever pick up a six pack and head down to the pen, to taunt the condemned and mock them when they beg for clemency?"--Dan Evanson

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"Do you think I'm better-looking than Sam and Cokie?"--Michele Siegel

"Would you like to have sex with Boris Yeltsin?"--Peter Carlin

"Do you ever, just for fun, say, 'No New Taxes' in front of a mirror?"--Marc Germain

"Is it true you have no penis?"--Daniel Radosh (Bill Sepmeier had a similar answer.)

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Click for more answers.

Randy's Wrap-Up

Most responses assume that G.W. is a stupid, hollow man kept afloat by his own vanity and the self-interest of his rich supporters. So why hasn't stupidity torpedoed him the way it did Dan Quayle? And can this be explained without resorting to the phrase "dumbing down" or alluding to the questions on that Who Wants a Big Bucket of Money quiz show being multiple choice about the Brady Bunch, not like in the old days, when quiz show questions were so hard that you had to cheat to win, and presidential candidates all spoke in full sentences, in iambic pentameter, in Latin, while wearing complicated wigs and fancy hats and several layers of underwear with fastenings so elaborate you had to be like a genius just to undress for one of your Naked Fireside Chats from the Aero White House, a giant dirigible moored to Zelda Fitzgerald. I guess what I'm saying is that maybe times haven't changed all that much and that stupid people are the same all over the world. And if they're not, why hasn't Time magazine done one of those marvelous trend-spotting covers on The New New Stupidity Stupidity?

Answer … er … Question , No, Answer

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Tim Russert: Do you have any opinion of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, a possible successor to President Boris Yeltsin?

Some Other Meet the Press Moments*

T.R.: Would you accept an invitation to meet with the Log Cabin Republicans, the homosexual political group?

G.W.: All that does is create a huge political, you know, nightmare for people. I'd rather meet with the least tolerant, most reactionary wing of the party … and rich people, of course.

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T.R.: Do you support adoption by gay parents?

G.W.: I believe that society ought to aim for the ideal. And the ideal is for a man and woman to adopt a child. They should beat it regularly with a stick, educate it in a Christian academy so it won't get confused by, you know, learning, then throw it on the barbecue and eat it, and then we can all get high again, like when we were young and … is this thing on?

*Final sentence added by News Quiz.

Daniel Radosh's New Yorker Cartoon Contest Follow-Up

Another suggested caption for that Zeigler drawing of a weary suburban Atlas arriving home with the world on his shoulders:

"Holy fucking shit! A globe!"--Tim Carvell

Joy of Six Follow-Up

"Three Days of the Condor, the film, was adapted from the novel Six Days of the Condor. I had been a fan of the book before they made the movie, and, while exceptional, I always did miss those three extra days."--Steven O. Newberger

Schedule Note

There will be no quiz on Thanksgiving while we recover from the effects of that drug in the turkey that makes you so sleepy. What do you call it? Heroin. Bless Mom and her unconventional stuffing. News Quiz resumes Monday.

Common Denominator

Sex first, stupidity second, drugs third--a reverse of the usual order on date night. (This "common denominator" sponsored by the Partnership for a Drug Free America.)