Fill in the blank as Jimmy Riordan, an organizer of yesterday's Gay Pride parade in New York City, explains why Mayor Rudolph Giuliani was heckled the length of the march. "Nobody is barred from being in the parade. It's completely open to all people. He's just not ______________."
Send your answer by noon ET Tuesday to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thursday's Question (No. 265)--"Serfs Up":
"In England, the rule was well established that 'no lord could be sued by a vassal in his own court, but each petty lord was subject to suit in the courts of a higher lord." This surprisingly relevant bit of medieval lore turns out to be the philosophical foundation of what?
"All video games."--Evan Cornog
"It means that Sean 'Puffy' Combs is free to beat up any producer who doesn't sell as many records as he does."--Peter Carlin
"Uh, why my wife complains about me to my mother?"--Sean Fitzpatrick
"It's the reason why my sexual harassment suit against Sen. Dianne Feinstein had to be termed 'ludicrous' and 'a travesty' in a federal court, instead of a state one."--Tim Carvell
"Orrin Hatch's bid for the presidency. (No, it doesn't fit the question, but I laugh every time I think about it.)"--Alex "I Hate It When Kennedy Gets It Right" Pascover
Click for more answers.
Saturday in Massachusetts, just off I-91, in a restaurant, in the men's room, on the red plastic screen that covers the urinal drain, were emblazoned these words: "Say No To Drugs." Oh yes--you are now meant to take in social policy while you piss. But isn't this ubiquitous propagandizing what we mocked and derided when the Soviets did it? (And by "we," I of course mean, me, George Orwell, and the gang up at Chiatt Day.) Perhaps this was a subversive act, the urinal-drain-guard manufacturer inviting us to piss on the United States' failed drug policy. Is that still a legal form of protest? Like Supreme Court Justice Kennedy, I have only a tenuous grasp of constitutional law, but won't this sort of thing be taboo once that flag-burning amendment passes?
Articles of Confederation Answer
This is the legal underpinning of Justice Anthony Kennedy's nostalgic embrace of states' rights.
Writing the decision in the first of three 5-4 cases that undermine the rights of the individual to defend himself against a state government, Kennedy argued that when a state violates a federal law, the federal government can sue, but the individual victim cannot. "Our federalism requires that Congress treat the states in a manner consistent with their status as residuary sovereigns," he wrote, with a quill pen dipped in the blood of Thomas Jefferson, or maybe it was a word processor.
Writing the dissent, Justice David Souter argued that this goofball invocation of states rights (Was it "goofball"? No one has decent penmanship anymore.) leaves the individual with little recourse when he's been wronged by sovereign Albany or that bastion of liberty, Harrisburg. Quoting Chief Justice John Marshall, Souter wrote: "If he has a right, and that right has been violated, do the laws of his country afford him a remedy? The very essence of civil liberty certainly consists in the right of every individual to claim the protection of the laws when he receives an injury."
Greg Diamond's Cast Masters Extra:
Participants were invited to deflate the AFI's Greatest Legends List of movie stars by devising a brief plot summary of a movie in which any equally ranked pair--for instance Charlie Chaplin and Joan Crawford are both rated No. 10--should have co-starred.
- No. 7 It Happened Every Night for a Week--Velvet (Elizabeth Taylor) runs away from jealous father and must accept the help of a horse named Pie (Clark Gable), really an out-of-work reporter looking for a big story. Either Velvet trains him for the Grand National, or he'll tell Velvet's father.--Eric Nelson
- No. 8 White Sheet--A self-taught nightrider (James Cagney) seeks increased stature by literally dancing on the shoulders of his Jewish landlady (Judy Garland). Highlight is a musical number set in the tenement basement where Cagney dances and screams, "Top of the girl, Ma!"--Steven Davis
- No. 10 Modern Mommies--A bitter, alcoholic mother (Joan Crawford) abuses her lovable scamp of a son (Charlie Chaplin) by trapping him in comical machinery.--Justin Warner
- No. 13 The Gowns of Navarone--Marine Sgt. Buck Skidmore (John Wayne) falls in love with a glamorous female general (Grace Kelly).--Neal Pollack (Matt Sullivan had a similar submission.)
- No. 16 Citizen Scarlett--After Rhett (Orson Welles) dumps her, Scarlett (Vivien Leigh) decides to run for president. Wealthy media baron and Dick Morris-like campaign manager John Beresford Tipton (Welles) advises her to change her name to Liddy. (Remade several years later as A Touch of Tara, with Chris Farley and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio as the leads.)--Juris Odins (similarly, Chuck Lawhorn)
- No. 18 Love Child--There is sure to be controversy as the revisions of Lolita continue. Pederasty is just a different form of love in this version of Lolita, starring James Dean and Shirley Temple.--Charles Star
- No. 18: Rebel Without a Lollipop--Confused, rebellious teen (James Dean) receives life lesson from poor orphan girl (Shirley Temple); the teen's later, tragic death inspires girl to life in foreign service.--Al Petroksy (similarly, Jordan Kroop, Doug Mose, and Francis Heaney)
- No. 20 The Luckiest Jews in the World--Three sisters (Rita Hayworth, Lauren Bacall, and Sophia Loren) who have never before laid eyes on a man, stumble upon a troupe of vaudeville performers (the Marx Brothers) after escaping from a convent in Switzerland.--Neal Pollack
- No. 21 El General--During the Spanish Civil War, a dedicated engineer (Buster Keaton) keeps his train running despite the distractions of his gorgeous assistant (Sophia Loren). Great physical comedy when Sophia mistakenly assumes Buster is dead and tries to tie him to the cowcatcher to inspire the troops (well, it's funny if you've ever seen El Cid, which you probably haven't if you're like most people).--Cindy and Eleanor ("Proud To Be From Eastern Kansas, Birthplace of Buster Keaton") Rivera
New Ongoing Extra--Andrew Silow-Carroll's News Roundelay
Devise a trinity of people or phenomena that trump one another rock-paper-scissors style. Example: Rudy Giuliani, Tina Brown, Hillary Clinton (Rudy cancels Tina's party, Tina trashes Hillary in magazine, Hillary beats Rudy in Senate election); or NATO, Slobodan Milosevic, Albanian refugees (NATO planes crush Milosevic, Milosevic drives out refugees, refugees give NATO fits). Replies due by Thursday morning.
Charles Star's Vaguely Pornographic Headline Haiku
Police at Orphanage
Waits for Motions
With Snake Oil
Making it Harder
New York Times, June 25, 1999
The Microsoft trial.