News Quiz

No. 263: “Exchanging Glances”

Despite a recent clash of gunboats, yesterday a South Korean freighter delivered something to the North Korean port of Nampo, the first part of a trade between the two nations. What is being swapped for what?

Send your answer by noon ET Wednesday to newsquiz@slate.com.

Monday’s Question (No. 262)–“Wonder Bread?”:

Michigan Gov. John Engler says it “strengthens families, stabilizes neighborhoods, builds communities, enhances self-sufficiency, and promotes personal well-being.” What does?

(Question courtesy of Herb Terns.)

“Spouting platitudes.”–Daniel Radosh

“Money, of course.”–P. Mattick (Bobby Ballard, Karen Bitterman, and Matthew Singer had similar answers.)

“Taunting the poor.”–Floyd Elliot

“Sounds to me like somebody’s rethought his opposition to physician-assisted suicide.”–Tim Carvell

“Really, is there anything Jack Daniels can’t do?”–Brian Danenberg (similarly, Jeff Mecom)

Click for more answers.

Randy’s Wrap-Up

“Deranged militias, abandoned factories, and seething hostility to the poor, that is Michigan to me.” So concludes the winning essay in the state’s annual … No , wait, sorry. That is Michigan to News Quiz participants. But to the 1960 edition of the World Book Encyclopedia, it is so much more. It is the wolverine state, “although scientists believe there were never many wolverines there,” notes a cranky Willis Dunbar, author of the World Book essay. Michigan is also celebrated as the “Water Wonderland,” because it has “four times as much water-covered area as any state,” a curious boast, giving the impression that by the second paragraph, Dunbar is straining to find nice things to say. Michigan–surprisingly submerged! Indeed, being excessively water-covered is what sends most states whining to the federal government for emergency aid. Still, it makes a nice license plate slogan–Michigan: more water-covered than any of you bastards!--and it probably keeps down the wolverine population.

A Panacea You Can Live in Answer

Owning a home strengthens, stabilizes, builds, enhances, and promotes, said Gov. Engler, as he proclaimed June as Homeownership Month, presumably weeks ago when we were all too preoccupied with Kosovo and ourselves to notice.

As one of the month’s many activities, the Michigan State Housing Development Authority sponsored an essay and drawing contest, “What My Home Means to Me,” for 5- through 12-year-olds whose families purchased a home in 1998 through a MSHDA funding and loan program. The Michigan Association of Home Builders and the Mortgage Bankers Association also contributed to the festive mood of the event.

For Timothy Noah’s contrary view on the salubrious effects of home ownership, click here and here.

Equal Justice Extra

Over the past 24 hours, authorities on two of America’s most distant shores handed down punishments to two miscreants, Capt. Joseph Hazelwood and Roughrider. A comparison:

Species of Perp

Capt. Hazelwood: Human

Roughrider: Bull

Weight of Perp

Capt. Hazelwood: Doesn’t say, but he looks around 165, maybe 175

Roughrider: 1,700 pounds

Hurtful Slur From Insensitive Critics

Capt. Hazelwood: Boozy incompetent

Roughrider: Dangerous ruminant

Place of Crime

Capt. Hazelwood: Pristine waters of Prince William Sound

Roughrider: Pristine streets of Long Island City

Place of Punishment

Capt. Hazelwood: Anchorage, Alaska

Roughrider: Queens, N.Y.

Crime

Capt. Hazelwood: Discharging 11 million gallons of oil from the Exxon Valdez

Roughrider: Participating in unlicensed traveling Mexican rodeo

Damage Caused by Crime

Capt. Hazelwood: Despoiling 1,000 miles of shoreline and killing tens of thousands of birds and marine mammals

Roughrider: None

Punishment

Capt. Hazelwood: One thousand hours of community service over five years

Roughrider: Shot 20 times by cops

Punishment, More Specifically

Capt. Hazelwood: Pick up litter in the summer

Roughrider: Die

Time Between Crime and Punishment

Capt. Hazelwood: Nine years

Roughrider: A few minutes

Rejected Alternative Sentencing

Capt. Hazelwood: Jail

Roughrider: Safely immobilized with tranquilizer dart

Comments That Put It All in Perspective

Capt. Hazelwood: “He’ll be doing different things each day. Tomorrow he could be cleaning parks.”–Fred Fulgencio, head of Anchorage’s community work service program

Roughrider: “I thought I saw a horse running down the street, then all of a sudden I noted it had horns. I said to my family, ‘Honey, that’s a bull.’ “–Sandra Davis, eyewitness

Greg Diamond’s Ongoing Extra

Participants have until Sunday to mock and deride the AFI’s Greatest Legends List of movie stars by devising a TV Guide-style plot summary of a movie in which an unlikely yet equally ranked pair–for instance Kirk Douglas and Lillian Gish are both rated No. 17–might have co-starred.

Inspirational example:

No. 24 Watch of Evil–An evil scientist (Edward G. Robinson) hypnotizes a woman (Mary Pickford) and makes her think that he looks like a dashing leading man. Well-known for the catch phrase “Nyaarh, your eyes are getting heavy, nyaarh!”

Common Denominator

Indifference to the poor, affection for drugs.