On Wednesday, Musashimaru defeated Akebono to become the 67th yokozuna. Why is this noteworthy?
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Wednesday's Question (No. 249)--"Cam Com Can Gal":
The list includes cameras, laptop computers, canvas bags of tools, and 665 gallons of water. List of what?
"Award inducements to Belgrade telephone users who are ready to switch to MCI local service."--Marshall Efron
"Things used as stand-ins for Liam Neeson while Star Wars was being filmed."--Justin Warner
"To the horror of environmentalists, soon the Yangtze River will be composed entirely of these items."--Jennifer Miller
"Once-hidden details of Da Vinci's The Last Supper, now clearly visible beneath the table."--Peter Carlin
"Robot punch. Serves 10,000."--Chris Kelly
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Randy's Large Intestine Wrap-Up
Although many of you submitted enema jokes, I ran none--an aesthetic not a political decision, if such a distinction is possible. Some laugh at colonic humor, some don't. I have no doubt that several entries were particularly fine examples of rectal comedy. These I have passed along to my London counterpart, Sophie Rhys-Cohen, who plans to run them in "Naughty Scamp," the English edition of News Quiz, along with many comical pictures of men in women's clothing and a terrific photograph of Queen Elizabeth's left breast. (At least they said it was hers when Sophie R-C handed over £100,000 of Bill Gates' money.)
Incidentally, Naughty Scamp is still encouraging participants to suggest better things to do with fresh fruits and vegetables than eat them.
Five Americans, a Canadian, and a Russian Walk Into an Answer
All are packed in the cargo bay of the Space Shuttle Columbia for a scheduled Thursday launch.
And if it does take place, that launch will end a string of six consecutive failures. The unmanned six-failure record was broken Tuesday by the Thaad anti-missile system, when the rocket that was to serve as its target, in the words of Defense Department spokesman Kenneth Bacon, "tumbled chaotically out of control." I guess we've all done that. The Thaad project, incidentally, has already cost more than $3 billion. Neither Congress nor the Defense Department is discouraged by its unbroken record of failure. I call that plucky.
If the Columbia does get off the ground, its crew of five Americans, a Canadian, and a Russian will transfer those supplies to the Russian-American space station, in one of the 160 space walks on 86 flights needed to complete the station--and no doubt worth every penny.
Canvas? Can that be right--canvas tool bags in outer space? Shouldn't the tools be stowed in something spectacularly light and strong and expensive--Kevlar or woven Tang or something? But that's what Beth Dickey reports in the New York Times, and that's good enough for me.
Chris Kelly's Medical Extra
I don't know if this counts as an "extra" or anything, but what the hell is going on with George Lucas' neck? I mean, you'd think a guy with all that high-tech know-how could do something about that sucker. It's less like a wattle and more like a Siamese twin. Maybe he could computer-animate some paisleys on it and claim it's a scarf. Am I the only person this unsettles? Am I just jealous?
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human experimentation lab
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Wall Street Journal, May 25, 1999