No. 226: "It Depends"

No. 226: "It Depends"

No. 226: "It Depends"

Testing your knowledge of what happened this week
April 17 1999 3:30 AM

No. 226: "It Depends"

"This is quite controversial," said Kevin Sparkman of Pennsylvania. "Until now, we have always depended strictly on altruism." What is he talking about?

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by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to e-mail your answer to newsquiz@slate.com.

Wednesday's Question--(No. 225) "Love Hurts":

On Tuesday, in Texas, after a public display of affection, one of themplayfully grabbed the other by the wrist and shouted, "Run! Run!" What was going on?

"Leper practical jokes."--Dave Gaffen (Greg Diamond had a similar answer.)

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"Gov. Bush got a playful French kiss from Anna Nicole Smith at the annual World's Biggest Boob Relay Race at the Texas State Fair."--Brooke Saucier

"Jesse Jackson, looking in the mirror, decides the country needs him ... again."--Christopher Clark

"Sounds like another one of Darryl Strawberry's romantic liaisons about to be called foul by the vice squad."--Peter Carlin

"Lyndon Johnson and Lee Harvey Oswald, trying not to be seen together. The Tuesday was in mid-November 1963."--Tim Carvell

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Click for more answers.

Daniel's Wrap-Up

Even when Forrest Sawyer is sitting in, it's still World News Tonight With Peter Jennings. Just because Johnny goes on vacation, The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson doesn't suddenly become The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. The task of a guest host is delicate. He has to be familiar (and competent) enough to keep viewers satisfied, but also distinct (and flawed) enough that when the star returns, everyone remembers exactly why they love him so. Similarly, when two men hold hands in Texas, all our suspicions are confirmed.

OK, that's not the least bit similar. These segues are harder than they look from where you're sitting.

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Was It Good for You Too Answer

Rudolph Giuliani and George W. Bush were simpering and giggling for the press after their 90-minute meeting at the governor's mansion in Austin, Texas. It was a love fest.

"He is one of the real hopes that the Republican Party has of regaining control of the United States," said the mayor in his characteristic military style.

"He's a good tough campaigner," the governor reciprocated manfully.

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"I think I might have eaten a bad clam," said someone, perhaps me.

Neither man would formally endorse the other, but when a reporter asked the mayor if he'd specifically urged the governor to run, Bush contorted his arm behind his back and said, "He twisted my ..." Well, you know what he said. Then Giuliani displayed his usual flair for playful repartee with the run, run business.

(Answer composed pre-departure by Randy Cohen.)

Military Intelligence Extra

1. According to NATO Secretary-General Javier Solana, "Milosevic is losing, and ..."

a) He knows he is losing.

b) He doesn't know he is losing.

c) I can fly!

2. Which explanation did NATO spokesman David Wilby give for the attack that killed 10 civilians in a residential area of Pristina last week?

a) "One bomb appeared to be seduced off target at the final stages."

b) "Relax, it's not like we hit a convoy of refugees or anything."

c) "Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out."

3. Explaining why he went to Belgrade, Dan Rather said, "On some days, in some ways ..."

a) I miss Afghanistan.

b) Tom Brokaw can kiss my ass.

c) Danger is my business.

4. Which was not said by a college student at a Kosovo teach-in?

a) "I'm very against genocide."

b) "This Milosevic guy is Serbian, right?"

c) "Forget ground troops, let's send in Buffy."

5. A party for NATO's 50th anniversary will still go ahead as scheduled, but administration officials acknowledged that they would have to "adjust the tone" to make it, in the words of the National Security Council's Don Blander:

a) Less "triumphalist," more "serious and sober."

b) Less "imperialist," more "pathetic."

c) Less "Greek, Hungarian, Italian, and French," more "British and American."

Answers

1-a. Solana was also asked what would constitute a "permissive environment" for NATO troops. "Why don't you help me a little," he replied, "and not ask me to define the word 'permissive.' " He was not asked to define "losing" either.

2-a. A little candlelight and a bottle of Alizé, and that ordnance just can't control itself.

3-c. "I get $19,178 a day plus expenses," he could have added, but didn't.

4-c. At least, that's the only one the New York Times reporter didn't overhear.

5-a. Meanwhile, a NATO postage stamp illustrated with a dove of peace has been "rescheduled for a later date," the postal service said. "They're replacing the dove with an Apache helicopter, so it'll take at least a month before it arrives," the postal service did not add.

Common Denominator

Texas-sized homoeroticism.