Under pressure from the Federal Trade Commission, R.J. Reynolds will add a single sentence to each print ad for Winston. Saying what?
by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to e-mail your answer to newsquiz@slate.com.
Fill in the blank. Ending her China trip yesterday, Secretary of State Madeleine Albright was disappointed with that nation’s position on human rights but has few ways to alter it, says Nicholas Lardy of the Brookings Institution. “The administration has got only one carrot–that is _____________.”
“Baywatch.”–John Mott
“A sentence with which the Freudians will have a field day.”–Tim Carvell
“Louis Vuitton handbags and Scottish cashmere sweaters … oops, wait, not anymore.”–Ananda Gupta
“Hoo-hoo! There’s a guy named ‘Lardy’ at Brookings! Lardy-butt, lardy-butt, cannot get the bathroom door shut! Ha!”–Kate “Cruel things were done to my name in childhood” Wing
“Uh … Dammit! Did anyone remember to tape 20/20 for me last night?”–Leslie Goodman-Malamuth
Click for more answers.
Randy’s Wrap-Up
What have we got that others envy? What are the crowning accomplishments of our society the world yearns for? Cheap consumer goods, crappy fast food, and bland mass entertainment! That’s what News Quiz players cite. And, incidentally, when George W. announces his candidacy, I believe that that will be his official slogan. Can’t fit it on a bumper sticker? You can if the bumper’s on a big enough SUV–seven miles to the gallon and it’ll crush anything in its path, comrade! Want one?
Flies With Honey Answer
“The administration has got only one carrot–that is permanent trade status.”
Weary of facing an annual vote in Congress, China wants to be enshrined as a “most favored nation” with the same economic rights as the major trading partners of the United States. This might induce the Chinese to take action on human rights and is even more likely to urge them toward membership in the World Trade Organization. Joining this body, American officials believe, would lead to lowered Chinese tariffs and increased adherence to international trading laws, such as copyright.
CCC Extra
South Carolina GOP activist and Republican National Committee member Buddy Witherspoon announced last week that he was severing his ties to the Council of Conservative Citizens: “I am a Christian. I am a conservative. But one thing I am not is a racist.” (One thing he will remain is a man voluntarily known as “Buddy.”)
In January, he had refused to leave the group, saying it was not racist but merely an advocate for causes such as displaying the Confederate battle flag and playing “Dixie” at public events.
The Southern Poverty Law Center says the CCC is “the reincarnation of the racist white Citizens Councils” that battled integration in the 1950s.
Decide for yourself by visiting the CCC Web site. Some highlights from the table of contents on its home page:
OUR WAR
A multi-part exegesis of the CCC’s ideology. “The Northern liberals have been waging a religious war against the Southern whites all this time: secular humanism is intent upon stamping out Christianity.”–I believe we’ve got American church attendance down to 90 percent and representation in the Senate to a meager 95 percent.
VIEWS
Various opinion pieces, including “American Troops Don’t Belong in Kosovo,” by Phyllis Schlafly.–I thought she was kept pretty busy writing for When Animals Attack.
LINCOLN
Including astonishingly nutty anti-Lincoln links.–These guys are going to be so upset when they find out he’s dead.
M. L. KING
A man of durable fascination to the CCC, the first article: “Liar? Sex Addict? Fellow-traveler?”–Buddy, Buddy, Buddy …
MILLARD
An endless river of goofball theories from the CCC’s most prolific thinker, H. Millard, including: “Betty Crocker Gets Blended,” “Clarence (’I Am Not A Hater Of Southern Whites’) Page,” “The Vanishing American White In Search of White Identity for the Next Century,” “Growth in Anti-Whitism,” “Clinton’s Stupid Race Panel Bashes Whites. Surprised?”–It’s about time someone had the guts to take on that Clarence Page.
Common Denominator
The comedy of literalism.
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