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Monday's question (No. 187)--"Photo Fun":
I give the caption, you briefly describe the Associated Press photo: "Protesting the export of trash by New York to Pennsylvania, demonstrators gathered outside a hotel in Harrisburg, Pa., yesterday to assail Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who was inside at a Republican dinner."
"Self-immolation of Oscar the Grouch, torched by a burning 'I Love NY' coffee cup. A stunned crowd turns away in horror."--Beth Sherman
"Photo of screaming, riotous Denver Bronco fans, to be followed by a correction in tomorrow's paper."--Bill Franzen (Jon Delfin had a similar answer.)
"In the foreground, the usual do-gooders, blissfully unaware that just behind them a phalanx of officers from NYPD's Special Forces division are aiming their automatic weapons at what they assume are gun-wielding rapists."--Peter Carlin
"Against a black background, an amber-lighted Matt Damon laughs congenially, wearing an olive-green Prada sweater. Wait a minute--Sorry! Thought it said 'associative' press. My bad!"--Colleen Werthmann
"This question is too hard. Send back something that lets me take a cheap shot at the WB."--Dennis Cass
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Demonstrations on television never look right. All the signs are painted the same color, as if they were done the night before, presumably by that kid who did the prom decorations for Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. If the marchers are white college kids, they look like an issue of Archie comics; if they're African-American college kids, they look like they've been costumed by whoever did the first few Jackson Five albums. TV demos capture neither the exhilaration nor the fear, conveying instead the smug fatuity of some second-unit director who believes social change is for saps; DGA cards are for winners. And by the way, The Man can't bust our music, but it turns out that he can repackage it as an NBC mini-series, The '60s. At last, someone has collected all the turbulent decade clichés in one convenient 37 hour package. I guess I can finally throw out my Moby Grape albums.
Vividly Descriptive Answer
A woman dressed as the Statue of Liberty holds a sign reading "Rudy: Keep your wretched millions of tons of garbage." A man dressed like Ben Franklin holds a clear plastic bag (of garbage?) bearing an "I Heart NY" sign. A woman in a ball cap clutches a bundle (garbage? baby?) and holds a Sierra Club placard: "Protect our Kids' Health and Heritage."
Friday, officials from Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Maryland, and West Virginia urged Mayor Giuliani to reconsider his waste policies. The mayor has not yet called them idiots. But perhaps he's too busy acting surprised that the NYPD shot another unarmed black man.
Toying With Your Affections Extra
The 96th Annual American International Toy Fair opened in New York Monday, featuring 1,700 exhibitors from 25 countries. Below, some highlights as described by the Toy Manufacturers of America press release, and me.
- Play Catch Puppy (TM)--Fun or cruel? It depends where you put the hyphen.
- The Sea-Monkey Aquarium Watch is a tidal wave of fun with real live sea-creatures that live two years with only minimal care!--We told the nursing home much the same thing about my Aunt Helen.
- Wishbone (TM) plush, inspired by TV's popular, literature-loving Jack Russell terrier.--For $10,000 the dog will love your book even more; he's got a deal with Amazon.com.
- Play the Mutual Mania board game and make the most money by balancing the risk and reward of buying and selling the nine mutual funds offered, and learn all about investing the fun way.--Hey, kids, fun investing! Kids? Kids?
- He's cool, he's blue ... and he's better than a rooster! Wake Me Willy vibrates when he speaks, and has a bright yellow squishy nose that tells you the time when squeezed.--Wait a minute: That's not his nose!
- RINGO is the ring game for ages 5 to 105 that challenges players to use a swinging motion to catch the hook on the ring.--There hasn't been a sadder endorsement deal since David Crosby did that Depends commercial. The '60s are over, man.
- Christian Soldiers Inc. "Baby Jesus" is the Nativity set that children can play with--Yes, but does he vibrate when he speaks?
- Mattel: When kids "read" to Goodnight Blue from her favorite storybook, she closes her eyes, lowers her ears and gradually fades off to sleep and starts to snore.--Part of its Literacy Is for Losers campaign, "Books: They're boring and stupid!"
- Doubles Wild (TM) is a new luck and strategy game in which players try to get three markers in a row in as many places as possible.--And then describe it to Larry Flynt for a million bucks.
- McDonald's to launch Furby Happy Meals in March (Reuters)--Don't get your hopes up; the patties are still made of "beef."
Top target: Gun-happy New York police.
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