"Figure in the 'living totem pole' in Bill Gates' den."--Noah Meyerson (Daniel Radosh and Nell Scovell had similar answers.)

"Mr. Shirley Phillips."--Nicole "fill in the blank" Cody

"Associate professor of political science."--Scott Lemieux (similarly, Doug Ingram)

"Lawn jockey at Strom Thurmond's home."--Dan Ricci

"Scab at ABC."--Marshall Efron

"Slave laborer in General Motors' Nazi division."--Robert Yee Meave

"Heterosexual comedy writer at Frasier."--Jon Hotchkiss

"Presidential stalker."--Steve Reiness

"Buxom U.S. she-spy working the all-gay Tony Blair Cabinet."--Jim O'Grady

"Personal assistant to Jerry Vale."--Larry Amaros (similarly, but denigrating Fran Drescher, Danny Spiegel)

"Fifth or sixth wife of Larry King."--Danny Spiegel

"Nanny for Wyatt Imus."--Aaron Schatz

"Cigar trimmer and spittoon emptier for The McLaughlin Group."--Martin Willett

"Kleenex handler for Boris Yeltsin."--Erin Murphy

"Telemarketer for the Clinton Defense Fund."--Matt Sullivan

"White House cigar."--Bruce Johnson

"Professional patsy at presidential poker games."--Kate Wing

"Dick Morris groupie."--Ananda Gupta

"Lucianne Goldberg's liquor store delivery guy."--Judith Spencer

"Libertarian."--Brooke Saucier

"Montreal Anglophone."--Carrie Rickey

"Furby. What? You think 'computers' are that powerful? Get real."--Adam Bonin

"Rockette."--Andrew Cohen

"Fresh meat in the bond trading division at Goldman Sachs."--Leslie Goodman-Malamuth

"Post-Cold War Russian spy. (I think the correct answer is temporary postal worker.)"--Kenton A. Hoover

"Colostomy bag carrier for Henry Hyde."--Bill Franzen

"Larry Klayman's mom."--Steve Reiness

"Pit musician in the new Broadway hit Gingrich Sings Gershwin!"--Doug Strauss

"Background singer for Orrin Hatch."--Alex Balk

"City 'classified special services' worker. (Today Madame Shirley announced the relocation of her business as far away from City Hall as possible.)"--Peter Lerangis

Self-Reference Corner

"Photographer for the New York Times 'City' section."--Daniel Radosh (similarly, Peter Lerangis)

"Writer for Michael Moore (similarly, Randy Cohen, Chris Kelly, Stephen Sherrill, Roy Sekoff, etc.)"--Eric Zicklin

"The obvious answer is researcher for Ken Starr, but the real answer is assistant to Scott Shuger."--Michael Jenkinson

"Regular Buddy Faro viewer."--Sam Coppersmith

"Pig scalder."--Molly Shearer