No. 149: "Help Wanted"

By Randy Cohen

Fill in the blank.

The pay is bad, the hours are irregular, and there's that nettlesome FBI background check. Small wonder Shirley Phillips says, "Being a ___________ makes one feel subhuman and as low on the totem pole as one can get."

by noon ET Tuesday to e-mail your answer to newsquiz@slate.com.

Responses to Wednesday's question (No. 148)--"Season's Grating":

A family photo, the single word "Noel," a naked babe draped in colored lights sipping champagne--there are many styles of holiday card, and now's the time to mail them. You were invited to describe the Christmas card sure to be sent by a corporation, world leader, or other personage.

"Cover: 'With best wishes for the holy season from the missionaries to the pre-born.' Inside: 'You've just been exposed to anthrax!' "--Katha Pollitt

"Picture: A still from Beloved. Message: 'For your consider ... I mean, Happy Holidays. Love, Oprah.' "--Daniel Radosh

"From the Philip Morris Co. Outside Santa's workshop, in subzero temperatures, the elves hang out during their cigarette break."--Danny Spiegel

"From Lewis Lapham. No illustration, just text. Its tone somehow both baleful and bemused, wistful yet wan. It starts with a quote from either Henry Adams or Alexis de Tocqueville, and I stop reading it about a quarter of the way through."--Chris Kelly