Name and Shame

Name and Shame

Name and Shame

Testing your knowledge of what happened this week
Dec. 5 1998 3:30 AM

Name and Shame

 

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"Sarah Michelle Gellar, complaining that the International Monetary Fund just doesn't sparkle with the wit and verve of the World Bank."--Jennifer Miller

"R.J. Reynolds executive, about Dave Dinosaur, formerly known as Joe Camel, explaining how RJR will comply with the tobacco settlement."--Matthew Singer

"The Holy Ghost to Allah, about the Vatican, on CNN's new Crossfire of the Gods."--Kate Wing

"A genetic librarian at a gene yard, after disposing of it's voluminous coelacanth DNA archives."--Hasan Murtaza

"Bob Hope said it about Louis the XVI and, sure enough, seven years later came the French Revolution!"--Greg Diamond

"Congressman Bob Barr, on the Constitution."--Adam Bonin

"Kenneth Starr, on the Fifth Amendment."--Robert Yee Meave

"Bill Clinton, on the Penthouse Forum."--Alex Balk

"Bill Clinton, about Congress, shortly before his declaration of martial law."--Evan Cornog

"Bob Dole, about Bob Dole."--Winter Miller

"Adam Sandler, about Saturday Night Live."--Beth Sherman

"The concept of crimes against humanity, in the view of those in 'American diplomatic and intelligence circles' who have 'doubts about international tribunals aimed at former foreign rulers.' (NYT, Dec. 2, 1998; this is a 'News Quiz,' isn't it?)"--P. Mattick

"Nikita Kruschev, about the West, circa 1958. Funny how things work out, isn't it?"--Andrew Staples

"Me, about Art Buchwald."--Michael Chommie

"A really, really Reform congregation on circumcision."--Doug Strauss

"Jiang Zemin, on Tibetan Buddhism. Negotiations are underway to anoint Geri 'Ginger Spice' Halliwell as the new Dalai Lama."--Andrew Solovay

"Anonymous MSNBC programming exec, on Charles Grodin's hairpiece."--Jon Hotchkiss

"Anonymous 16-year-old viewer, about MTV's Loveline."--Alex Balk

"The American public, about the Pop-Up Toaster."--Nell Scovell

"Gus Van Sant, explaining the need for his Psycho remake."--Brett Porter

"My younger sister, bemoaning the state of the English language. 'It's wack,' she added."--Jennifer Miller

"Edgar Bronfman Jr., about his foundering studio, Universal, and his wariness about financing Jurassic Park III."--Carrie Rickey

"Catty Bob Urich, speaking of his relentlessly chipper Love Boat predecessor, old salt Gavin MacLeod."--Larry Amaros

"My new Pentium II computer, about my 1-year-old Pentium MMX computer."--I.C. Graham

"David Letterman, about The Late Show With David Letterman, still pulling that self-loathing-as-hip-self-critique bullshit."--Matthew Singer

"The new, improved Prince Charles, talking about his mum."--Karen Bitterman (Steve Lyle and B. Schneider had similar answers.)

"Me, canceling my subscription to the Don Ho Fan Club Newsletter."--Peter Lerangis

"Eleanor Clift, about The MacLaughlin Group, speaking anonymously, of course."--Judith Spencer

"Donna Shalala, on Janet Reno's haircut."--Todd York

"Camille Paglia, about her uterus."--Deb Stavin (similarly, but less anatomical and more Shakespearean, Colleen Werthmann)

"A National Organization for Women spokesperson, on her organization. 'We will, of course, remain dogmatic, old-fashioned, and humorless,' she added. 'But we're setting up a great Web site.' "--Charlie Glassenberg

"Katie Roiphe, on her mother's Observer column, her own whiny shtick, the need of unimaginative editors to quote either her or Camille Paglia in any and every article about feminism and, especially, her remaining lung."--Daniel Radosh (similarly, Matt Sullivan; but without the pulmonary attack, Norman Oder)

Self-Reference Corner

"Strom Thurmond, about his ass."--Gary Frazier

"A still-bitter Michael Kinsley, on The New Yorker."--Tim Carvell

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"Bill Gates, about News Quiz."--Chris Thomas

Randy Cohen used to write Slate's "News Quiz." His most recent book—oh, like you don't know.