"I do think that [it] is something of a dinosaur and that it has outlived its relevance. It has failed to move with time. ... It has remained this dogmatic, old-fashioned, humorless [thing]."
by noon ET Thursday to e-mail your answer to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Responses to Tuesday's question (No. 150), "Princeton Problem"--
State law won't let Princeton, N.J., hire Dr. Anthony DeNicola and his team of sharpshooters, despite the pleas of township Mayor Phyllis Marchand: "Sharpshooting would be far safer than opening it up to hunters, even the best. They just don't have the kind of techniques that this group does."
What does Mayor Marchand want Dr. DeNicola to do?
"Teach those kids from Lawrenceville a lesson."--Colleen Werthmann
"Provide backup for Dr. Kevorkian."--Alfa-Betty Olsen and Marshall Efron (Peter E Mahoney had a similar answer.)
"Trim 800 page period novels by Joyce Carol Oates down to 600 pages."--Jennifer Miller
"It's open season on migrating monarch butterflies!"--Judith Spencer
"March on the Hessians in Trenton."--David Finkle
Click here for more responses.
To most players, Princeton means the university. (Although several respondents maintained that Timothy Noah could make the distinction between campus and township and would insist on doing so at annoying and pedantic length. He has not.) The tone of most P.U. replies is a bittersweet blend of resentment and desire, usually reserved for someone who has spurned us in love, or for a large piece of cake. But, of course, Princeton has much more to offer than a mixed-emotion-provoking college and a high per capita income. Presumably.
As pretty near everyone knew because some of us have our heads buried in the New York Times, Marchand wants DeNicola and his team to use high-powered rifles equipped with night-vision scopes and silencers to kill deer.
There are 1,300 deer in the 17 square mile township, an area suitable for about 300. Each year in Princeton there are about 300 deer-car accidents; the mayor herself was once involved in such a mishap.
DeNicola and his team have operated in neighborhoods in Indiana, Maine, Minnesota, and New Hampshire. Later this month, he'll be inspecting the terrain for anti-deer operations in Detroit city parks.
New Jersey law allows Princeton to set out bait for the deer, but they may be killed only with shotguns, muzzle loaders, or bows and arrows.
My Mother Writes From Kutztown, Penn.
(Direct experience, unmediated by the New York Times):
"All the schools out here were closed yesterday, as were many auto repair shops. Reason? Opening of buck season. Reason? To protect the kids. Incidental to the fact that there would be no one to teach or, in auto shops, no one to repair."--Irma Cohen
Actual Answer to Yesterday's Extra Extra
"Just to display a total misuse of my study time and my Nexis privileges, from Jan. 1, 1998, through Dec. 1, 1998, the New York Times published 1,991 articles mentioning Harvard and a scant 280 articles mentioning the Vatican. (Yale trailed Harvard with 1,346 mentions.)"--Vincent Law, Yale class of 2000
Editor's note: I'm no mathematician, but wouldn't that mean that the Times published about six Harvard articles a day, high even for them?
East Meets West Extra
Cultural note from the Kuwaiti Times:
"Information Minister Yousef Al-Sumait said yesterday participation in the 23rd Arab Book Exhibition this year was remarkable in terms of number of participating countries and Arab and international publishing houses.
"He said that some 179 out of 51,000 publications and books were banned from circulation--which represented a small percentage when compared to the total number of books displayed.
"He pointed out that the majority of the banned books desecrate His Almighty God, prophets and successors, and others defame national unity."
(Viewed through Western eyes: too much censorship.)
Cultural note from the New York Times:
"Matt Lauer and Al Roker of NBC are back on holiday-cheer duty tonight, this time in the evening hours as hosts of the Rockefeller Center Christmas-tree-lighting show. ... Performers include the singers Garth Brooks, Cyndi Lauper and Baby Face; the Radio City Rockettes; and Kristi Yamaguchi skating to 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.' "
(Viewed through any eyes: not nearly enough censorship.)
Disclaimer: All submissions will become the property of Slate and will be published at Slate's discretion. Slate may publish your name on its site in connection with your submission.