By Randy Cohen
A major U.S. corporation will spend three years and $200 million to install customer-friendly equipment, including small, mobile, battery-powered podiums. What are the podiums for?
by noon ET Thursday to e-mail your answer to email@example.com.
Responses to Tuesday's question (No. 143), "A and Q: Bite the Hand That Fed Michael Lewis"--
Bill Gates' answer was "I don't know what you mean 'concerned.' " What was the question?
"Are the ActiveX data objects of a frequency-division multiplexing DDR SDRAM with full duplex VRML granularity hashing and an MVS IA-64 chip concerned with narrow-band, random-access Winsock functionality?"--Daniel Radosh
"Do you understand that some spectators may be concerned by your nudity in the courtroom today?"--Noah Meyerson
"Can you give an example of a sentence that does not contain a preposition?"--Jennifer Miller (Tamara Glenny and Doug Ingram had similar answers.)
"Is it true you said of James Barksdale and Marc Andreessen, in an inexplicably British locution, 'I don't ever want to hear that those c**ts earned one sodding shilling off their bloody browser'?"--HapppyJack
"He was evading a question about Universal's troubled Babe: Pig in the City. He's under oath. It's the '90s. They can ask you anything."--Chris Kelly
Click for more responses.
There is a kind of pseudo-rebelliousness when the ant mocks the elephant, particularly when the ant works for the elephant in some insect-sized capacity. But before things get overly Aesopian (too late for that, you old fool!) let me tell you a story about some real people. (Oh no, not another of his tedious stories!) So you kids stop doing that to the cat and listen closely. For months after General Electric bought NBC, David Letterman mocked his new bosses as "GE pinheads," and all the little ants who wrote for Dave felt sassy and bold. (You said no animals!) A short time later, at the Late Night anniversary party, Jack Welch, the CEO of GE, and Robert Wright, the president of NBC, grinned and guffawed and slapped Dave on the back. "We love it when you call us GE pinheads!" said Welch. "We get such a kick out that!" said Wright. Dave looked embarrassed, as he so often does, for Welch and Wright had taught him a lesson: When you mock them on television, you don't threaten them; you humanize them. What sports! They can take a joke! It's the court jester lesson. And if you want to know more about it, stop by and talk to me down at the unemployment office.
What non-Microsoft browsers were you concerned about in January of 1996?
Asked Monday in court by Justice Department attorney David Boies.
Epithet Extra--Four Animals, Two Nothings
Match each metaphor with the object of its scorn.
1. "mad dog"
2. "injured lion"
4. "fox in the henhouse"
5. "black hole"
A. Richard Butler, head of U.N. weapons inspection teams, says the headline in some Iraqi newspaper.
B. Saddam Hussein, says Ali al-Ali, some Kuwaiti guy.
C. President Clinton, says Samir al-Eisa, some other Kuwaiti guy.
D. Barnes & Noble's ownership of book distributor Ingram, says Avin Domnitz, head of the American Booksellers Association.
E. Livent, the financially troubled Broadway theater company controlled by Michael Ovitz, says lawyer John Breglio.
F. Data collection on bus accidents, says James Hall, chairman of the National Transportation Safety Board.
1A, 2B, 3C, 4D, 5E, 6F.
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